Feel Special Comic Strips
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528 Results for Feel Special
View 1 - 10 results for feel special comic strips. Discover the best "Feel Special" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 13,
2005
Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."
Saturday August 30,
2008
Tags #elf, #feel special, #likes pets, #random stack, #birthday, #birthday cards
Transcript
Alice says, "Today is Shelly's birthday. We should make her feel special." Alice says, "Do you still have that random stack of birthday cards you got on sale last year?" Dilbert says, "I'm all over it." Alice says, "She likes pets. The closest thing you have is an elf." Dilbert says, "Draw whiskers on it."
Friday November 27,
2015
Robot Must Reproduce
Tags #soul, #feelings, #technology, #reproduction, #ego, #value, #free will, #disillusionment
Transcript
Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.
Thursday December 03,
2015
Robot Learns To Code
Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent
Transcript
Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.
Sunday February 14,
2016
Tags #intelligence, #insult, #healing, #doctor, #ego, #medical
Transcript
Boss: My doctor says he's never seen anyone heal as quickly as me. Dilbert: What do you suppose that means? Boss: Obviously it means I am genetically gifted. Dilbert: Is that the only explanation? Boss: Well, maybe ten percent of it is because of good medical care. Dilbert: Can you think of any other reason at all? Alice: Doctors tell idiots their bodies are magic because it makes them feel special. Dilbert: He would have gotten there. Alice: I don't have that kind of time.
Tuesday April 11,
2006
Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special
Transcript
I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."
Friday January 12,
2018
Coworkers Who Are Special
Tags #consultation, #insults, #fired, #pay, #Advice, #special, #compliment
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Never call your co-worker a colossal moron, That could get you fired. Instead , say, "well, aren't you special" Dilbert: Are we paying you for this advice? Dogbert: well, aren't you special.
Wednesday February 02,
2011
Tags #golf, #managers & supervisors, #rich people, #sense of passion, #feel different, #Sports, #business
Transcript
The Boss: The experts say Is house motivate you by displaying my own sense of passion and purpose. I love getting rich at your expense....and golfing!!! Do you feel and different? Dilbert: Yup.
Friday September 16,
2011
Tags #conversation, #language, #positive feel, #power cables, #insulated
Transcript
Boss: Avoid saying "unfortunately" when you talk to customers. Say instead, "as it turns out." That has a more positive feel. Dilbert: As it turns out, our power cables aren't as insulated as we had hoped.
Thursday September 22,
2011
Tags #joking, #questioning, #feel free, #questions, #ghosts have clothes, #wedgie
Transcript
Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?