Few Minutes Ago Comic Strips
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428 Results for Few Minutes Ago
View 1 - 10 results for few minutes ago comic strips. Discover the best "Few Minutes Ago" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 14,
1996
Tags #layoff list, #Wally, #claimed chair, #few minutes ago, #hard on survivors
Transcript
Ted says to Wally, "I hear you're on the layoff list, Wally. Has anyone claimed your chair yet?" A man says, "I claimed it a few minutes ago." Ted yells, "Liar!" As the two men fight, Wally says, "I guess it's true what they say about layoffs being hard on the survivors."
Monday March 06,
2000
Tags #your cucbicle, #connect network, #stop by, #every few minutes, #the boss, #emplyee
Transcript
The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."
Sunday January 16,
2005
Tags #certified massage therapist, #clicking, #every week, #few minutes, #lengthy questionarie, #one hand, #pen pal, #used pen
Transcript
Certified Massage Therapist "Fill out this lengthy medical questionnaire." "That'll save me a few minutes of touching him." "I wonder if he'd know if I only used one hand." "Actually, how would he even know if it's a hand?" "Maybe I have an object here that feels like a hand." "This ballpoint pen will work." "I'm finding some tension here. Okay, it's gone now." "She says I should come back every week until my muscles stop clicking." "Sounds like you found a pen pal."
Sunday May 08,
2005
Tags #audit, #150 million, #software system, #scrap entire thing, #worthless, #norma software system, #clever combo, #tweak it, #sell the zeros, #few minutes
Transcript
Dogbert: "I completed the audit of your new $150 million software system." "I recommend that you scrap the entire thing." "What?!! How could the entire thing be worthless?" "Well, your normal software system would be a clever combination of ones and zeros." "Yours is all ones." "There must be some way to tweak it until it works." "My company can sell you all the zeros you need. But you'll have to arrange them yorself." "Whe you have a few minutes, I have a little assignment for you."
Wednesday April 04,
2012
Tags #meetings, #late for meeting, #reschedule, #10 minutes, #late
Transcript
Coworker: I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late for our 10:50 meeting. Wally: We'll have to reschedule because I have another meeting at eleven. Tina: Reschedule? I'm only ten minutes late! Wally: Tell that to my 11:10.
Saturday May 08,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #hideous, #shopping, #experience, #pants, #Card, #reported, #stolen, #strangled, #minutes, #aisle, #six, #floor, #chalk, #outline
Transcript
Dilbert stands in line at a cash register thinking, "It was another hideous shopping experience, but I found exactly the pants I want." The clerk says to the man in front of Dilbert, "I'm sorry . . ." The salesclerk says, "This card was reported stolen. The real owner was strangled with his own pants just minutes ago on aisle six . . ." Dilbert looks at the pants he is holding and thinks, "That would explain why these were on the floor by the chalk outline."
Friday July 11,
2003
Tags #are years ago, #this year, #futire, #free soft drinks, #free coffee, #bottled water
Transcript
Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."
Thursday December 01,
2011
Tags #obliviousness, #obstinacy, #office workers, #whiteboard, #conference room, #prohject timeline, #zombie reflex mode
Transcript
Dilbert: Don't clean the whiteboard in the conference room. It has my project timeline. Janitor: I can't promise that. I slip into a sort of zombie reflex mode when I do this job. Dilbert: I envy you. Janitor: Would you like a few minutes to say goodbye to your timeline?
Friday December 30,
2011
Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit
Transcript
Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!
Tuesday November 17,
1998
Tags #experimental medical procedures, #unicron, #antidepressant, #therapy, #instructions, #will make laugh, #psychology
Transcript
The Boss pionts a big ray gun like machine at Alice, Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "Our new line of business is testing experimental medical procedures on employees." Alice, Dilbert and Wally look shocked. The Boss says, "Today's test is called the unicorn antidepressant therapy." The Boss fiddles with the machine. The Boss says, "According to the instructions, in a few minutes, I'll see something that will make me laugh." Alice looks upward at a bump beginning to grow on her forhead. Dilbert and Wally put their hands to their brows.