Field Engineer Comic Strips
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289 Results for Field Engineer
View 1 - 10 results for field engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Field Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 05,
1995
Tags #lousy vendor, #sales rep, #gorgeous, #field engineer, #without shirt, #indian chief, #maintenance package
Transcript
Alice stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I can't believe you're recommending this lousy vendor just because the sales rep is gorgeous." Wally hands Alice a photograph and says, "Here's a picture of Thor, their field engineer." Alice stares at the picture and asks, "Does he really work without a shirt?" Wally answers, "Only if you but the 'Indian Chief' maintenance package."
Thursday April 22,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #social, #life, #engineer, #bonanza, #ladies, #field, #video games, #devices, #non-engineer
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a classroom of children saying, "And don't forget the social life that comes with being an engineer." Dilbert continues, "Ninety percent of all engineers are guys, so it's a bonanza of dating opportunities for the ladies who enter the field." Dilbert continues, "For the men, there are these little video game devices . . ." A little girl raises her hand and asks, "Would I be allowed to date a non-engineer?"
Monday February 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #robot, #building, #impossible, #perfectly, #neurospectrum, #ego, #engineer
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table building something. Dogbert asks, "What happened with the robot you were building?" Dilbert replies, "Nobody can make a robot. It's impossible." The garbage man opens a trashcan and sees the remains of a robot. He thinks, "Hmm . . . A perfectly good robot. Probably just needs a neurospectrum field calibration." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That whole robot project was bad for my ego as an engineer." A robot enters and says, "Hey! Guess who's WAY smarter than you!"
Tuesday April 20,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #engineer, #technical, #writing, #reads, #scapegoat, #vacation
Transcript
A school teacher says to a classroom of children, "Dilbert has agreed to talk to the class about exciting careers in the field of engineering!" Dilbert says to the students, "There's more to being an engineer than just writing technical memos that nobody reads." Dilbert continues, "Once in a while, somebody reads one. Then you have to find a scapegoat, or use some vacation time and hope it all blows over."
Friday March 26,
2010
Tags #new vice president of engineering, #office, #lack of experience, #revenge, #office politics, #worry, #sabotage, #best engineer, #4g, #skeptical, #false information
Transcript
The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."
Thursday October 06,
2016
Tina Isn't An Engineer
Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.
Saturday July 21,
2018
What Classes To Be An Engineer
Tags #intelligence, #insult, #Advice, #logic, #engineer, #engineering
Transcript
Man: What kinds of classes should I take to become an engineer? Alice: Start by taking whatever kind of class makes you fifty percent smarter. Man: Then what? Alice: Then you won't need to ask me what to do next.
Monday January 13,
2020
Smarter Than An Engineer
Sunday January 19,
2020
Master Engineer
Tags #managers & supervisors, #Promotion, #master, #senior, #engineer, #more, #pay, #platinum, #optimism
Transcript
boss: i'm promoting you to the position of "master engineer." dilbert: i'm already senior engineer. boss: now you're a master engineer. with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. dilbert: such as...? boss: well, for example, you can do more kinds of work. dilbert: for more pay? boss: no. no. no! you're thinking of "platinum level" engineers. you're not on of those. dilbert: that comes next?! boss: optimism is not an attractive quality.
Friday April 01,
2011
Tags #therapy session, #cloud, #having meeting, #tech talk, #couch, #shrink, #avatar, #engineer, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.