Field Research Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

131 Results for Field Research

View 1 - 10 results for field research comic strips. Discover the best "Field Research" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1995's comic on:

Tags #benchmark, #world class companies, #compare, #verbs, #nouns, #assign, #engineers, #field research, #pointy haired idioits

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys have any pointy-haired idiots running your place? . . . Would you like one?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #lawyer, #feels wrong, #research, #harvard law degree, #feelingl, #greasy food and ignorance, #data, #harvard degree over cheeseburger, #bad mood, #science, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This doesn't feel right. Dilbert: It came straight from our lawyer. Boss: It just feels wrong. Can you research it a little more? Dilbert: Sure. I can do that research in my head. Let's see... our lawyer got his degree at Harvard and has twenty years in this exact field. Whereas you have a "feeling" that is probably the result of an unholy combination of greasy food and ignorance. The data clearly favors the Harvard Law degree over the cheeseburger. ... Good luck. He's in a bad mood.

Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2017's comic on:

Tags #research, #truth, #accuracy, #lying, #market research, #yes-man, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2011's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #telephones, #returned calls, #tragus, #phone, #research on excuses, #useless, #big difference

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Why haven't you returned my calls?" Wally says, "I tried, but when I put the phone to my ear, it pressed my tragus over my ear hole and I couldn't hear a thing." Coworker says, "Do you do research on your excuses before meetings?" Wally says, "I'm not lazy, I'm useless. There's a big difference."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #review document, #comments, #research, #postpone, #plan a, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll review your document and give you my comments this afternoon. Dilbert: No you won't. You'll read one paragraph then tell me to go research something so you can postpone dealing with it. Boss: They know about Plan "A."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #biology, #chemistry, #practical jokers, #biotech field, #giving free flu shots, #stem cells, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2012's comic on:

Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #telephones, #vendor, #hardware, #field, #pony, #ask alice, #winners, #bad connection

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, listen carefully. I need you to... vendor... hardware... immediately. Dilbert: What? We have a bad connection. Boss: Field... the... grep... pony... budget. Dilbert: What? What? Boss: I have another call. Just ask Alice. Alice: How would I know what he wants? Leave me alone. Dilbert: I wonder how winners feel. Wally: I don't know. They never let me touch them.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2012's comic on:

Tags #internet & world wide web, #research, #believe internet, #roll eyes, #ignorance, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my research on the internet, Plan B will work best. Boss: I'm rolling my eyes because you believe everything you read on the internet. Dilbert: I should take a picture in case someone ever asks me if ignorance has a tell.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2012's comic on:

Tags #interviews, #senior year, #college, #launch start ups, #lifelong learning, #technology certifictae, #relevant to field, #uneducated, #more experience then boss, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Applicant: I skipped my senior year of college to launch my first of three start-ups. I believe in lifelong learning. I have every technology certification relevant to my field. Boss: He's uneducated.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2012's comic on:

Tags #huge fee, #non practicing entity, #patent troll, #patents, #playing field, #plunge civilization, #tangle innovation, #thwart compnies, #dark ages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm a patent troll, but you can call me a non-practicing entity. For a huge fee, I will use my patents to thwart the companies that are trying to thwart you with their own patents. Together we can strangle innovation and plunge civilization into the dark ages! Boss: That would even the playing field.