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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1999's comic on:

Tags #fifty mile run, #join me, #two triathlons, #entry forms

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Strong Guy says to Dilbert who is working in the cubicle, "I'm going on a fifty-mile run. Would you care to join me?" Dilbert says, "No." Dilbert works on his computer. Strong Guy says, "I signed up for two triathlons this weekend. Do you want the entry forms?" Dilbert says, "No." Strong Guy says, "Next week a few of us will be leaping into geosynchronous orbit..." Dilbert raises his arms in frustration and says, "Gaa!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computer software, #free software, #run slow, #upgrades, #office, #cubicles, #free

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Dogbert: Want some free software? Boss: What's it do? Dogbert: All it does is beg you for upgrades. And if you upgrade, then it begs you to upgrade again and so on. And it makes all of you other software run slow. Boss: And it's free?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #employee parking, #inconvenience, #by design, #personal errands, #intention suffering

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Dilbert: The employee parking situation is terrible. I had to park a mile away. Catbert: That's by design. The inconvenience removes your temptation to run personal errands during the day. Dilbert: You're intentionally making my life more difficult? Catbert: What do you think management is?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #personality, #cult, #wear, #bathrobes, #picture, #back, #run, #naked, #attractive, #people

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to form a personality cult to honor me." Dogbert continues, "I'll take everybody's money and make them wear bathrobes with my picture on the back." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to brand them and let them run naked?" Dogbert replies, "As a rule, we're not talking about attractive people here."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #severance, #package, #krazy, #glued, #farm, #animals, #still, #boss, #deal, #bureaucracy, #fire, #meeting, #run, #long, #animal, #behavior, #the boss

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Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #todd, #scissors, #russell, #dont, #run, #aaagh, #left handed, #teacher, #hand

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Dogbert hands a man a pair of scissors and says, "Todd, show the class how you hand these scissors to Russell." Dogbert yells, "Don't run! Don't run!" Russell screams. Todd looks down at Russell, who is lying on the floor, and says, "Sorry, Russell. It's the teacher's fault; he didn't even ask if I need left-handed scissors."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #vegetarians, #march, #capitol, #protest, #killing, #animals, #mile, #drive, #letters, #revolution, #people, #only, #plastic, #wooden, #shoes, #avoid, #Dilbert

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Dogbert stands on a ladder and addresses a crowd. Dogbert says, "Vegetarians, we must march to the capitol to protest the killing of animals!" A man in the audience says, "That's a mile away." Another man asks, "Can we drive instead?" A woman asks, "Or maybe write letters?" Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Never lead a revolution of people who only own plastic and wooden shoes." Dilbert replies, "I try to avoid it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1994's comic on:

Tags #all get out, #french bombing, #hardy breed, #run, #scare us

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Dilbert: The French are bombin us!! Run!! Elbonians: we elnonians are a hardy breed. Bombs don't scare us. ELBONIAN:'Course id be lying if I told you this didn't sting like all get out. NUPE IT.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1994's comic on:

Tags #static, #copyright, #fifty billion, #film library, #blow deal, #copyrighted everything

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Dilbert: You can't copyright the static on blank TV channels! Dogbert: "I already did." Dilbert: "You can't let my company pay fifty billion dollars to buy your so-called film library." Dogbert: "I already am." Dilbert: "I may have to blow the whistle on this deal." DOgbert: "It'll have to be a nose whistle - I copyrighted everything else."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1994's comic on:

Tags #managing, #marketing group, #previous manager killed, #parking lot, #run down, #murder, #apathy to murder, #body on bumper

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The Boss: "In addition to my current duties, I'll be managing the marketing group." "The marketing job opened because the previous manager got run down in the parking lot." "When they needed a good manager, they knew where to look." Dilbert: "Under your bumper?"