Figured Out Comic Strips

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1000 Results for Figured Out

View 1 - 10 results for figured out comic strips. Discover the best "Figured Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #appreciation, #lunch, #employee appreciation lunch, #$35 a piece, #one isn't paying, #figured out

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The boss: Okay, the bill for the employee appreciation lunch comes out to $35 apiece. Alice: That only adds up if one of us isn't paying. The boss: The employees figured out why I appreciate taking them to lunch.

Boss Figures Out A System

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Boss Figures Out A System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #managing, #problems, #work, #workload, #solution, #problem-solving

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Dilbert: I'm bored. Boss: Here's some more work. Alice: I'm overwhelmed with work. Boss: Here's some more work. Boss: Managing was hard until I figured out a system.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

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Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #joke, #tuxedo

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Dilbert is getting dressed and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert holds up a cummerbund and says, "I thought I had this tuxedo thing figured out, but what the heck is this?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, that's the kumberbuzle. You wear it on your head like a sweatband." Dogbert continues, "Then you clip your pens and pencils to the kumberbuzle." Dilbert says, "Ah, that explains why the shirt has no pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #angels, #dance, #pin, #six, #puzzle, #ancient, #Religion

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've solved an ancient puzzle." Dogbert continues, "I figured out how many angels can dance on the head of a pin!" Dogbert walks away thinking, "I don't care what he thinks . . . The answer is six."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #neuter work, #uninformed managers, #no work, #all week, #work concept thing

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Dilbert says to the Boss as he walks by, "I know where you're going." Dilbert continues, "You're going to a meeting where equally uninformed managers will make decisions that neuter the work I did all week." Alice says to Dilbert, "You didn't do any work this week." Dilbert answers, "I think I've got this whole 'work' concept figured out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #executive summary, #approval page, #executives, #understand, #know less, #aaa road service, #uphill

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss hands him a document and says, "Add an executive summary to the approval page." The Boss continues, "Keep it simple. Our executives don't understand as much about technology as I do." Dilbert asks, "How could they know less than you do? You haven't figured out how to make your car go uphill." The Boss replies, "Wrong; I got AAA road service."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #everyone talks funny, #not morons, #incapable, #clear communication, #think outside box, #watch ego, #before ego dies, #rebel, #do it

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The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #doomed projects, #fake mergencies, #more efficient, #unnecessary meetings, #to do list

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Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #goal set, #illadvised, #impossible goal, #life, #other people, #whats wrong life

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Dilbert sits opposite The Boss' desk and hears The Boss say, "You have failed to meet a goal set by our CEO." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Do you mean the impossible goal, the ill-advised one, or the one you didn't tell me about?" Carrying his briefcase, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I figured out what's wrong with life: It's other people."