Filberts Mother Comic Strips
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Dilbert's mother sits in a chair and says into the phone, "Dilbert, I found your father. He's been at the 'all you can eat' restaurant in the mall since 1989." Dilbert sits in his cubicle and says into the phone, "He's so literal - he didn't want to leave until it was 'all he could eat.'" Dilbert asks, "When's he coming home?" Dilbert's mother answers, "I'm thinking of joining him. He got a booth."
Dilbert and his mom are in the car. Dilbert's mom says, "It's so exciting to visit my son's cubicle!" As they're walking into the office, Dilbert's mom turns and says, "I worked hard to put you through college. Now I'll see the results of my investment!" Dilbert and his mom are standing in his cubicle. Dilbert's mom says, "Um.. you did attend classes, right?"
Dilbert's Mom pours a cup of coffee. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing out of his forehead. Dilbert says, "At least I can count on my mom to love me, despite my horn." Dilbert's Mom says, "Yes, of course, albeit not as much as before." Dilbert says, "How much less?" Dilbert's mom says, "Don't worry my love of unicorns practically covers the gap."
Dilbert is with his Mom. She is drinking tea. She asks Dilbert: "Did you do any action items this week?" Dilbert answers: "I gathered costs for a strategy we had already decided not to use." Dilbert's Mom says: "That helps the Ol' GNP." Dilbert tells her: "I'm not giving back your tuition money."
Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.
Therapist: ...so it's clear that your fear of moths derives from you insecurity about your looks. Dilbert: Really? Therapist: I'm sure you're aware that those big floppy ears of yours make your head look like a winged insect in flight. Now, is it possible that your mother was a giant moth in disguise? Dilbert: Well, I lost a sweater once; maybe she ate it.
Mother Nature: Okay, everybody off! Let's go, get off!! Dilbert: ? Mother nature? Mother Nature: Move along now. Find another planet. Dilbert: But... But... Mother Nature: Shoo! Come back when all the plastic is gone.
Dilbert: Please, mother nature, don't make me leave the earth!! Mother Nature: Don't talk back to me!! I work hard to give you a lovely planet, and look what you do to it! Dilbert: But... But I recycle newspapers! Mother Nature: Oh, well, excuse me. I guess the dolphins are safe, thanks to you. Dilbert: And I've noticed less acid rain since I started.
Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need to fill out an absence report for the days you missed work." Dilbert replies, "Well, Mother Nature got mad and had wild deer kill me. But my garbage man and my dog cloned me back to life." The woman says, "I'll put 'sick.'"