Finished Three Projects Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

524 Results for Finished Three Projects

View 1 - 10 results for finished three projects comic strips. Discover the best "Finished Three Projects" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presumed dead, #like to work, #finished three projects, #lost five pounds, #gave up coffee, #seven patents, #everyone prodcutive, #life without mangement, #paradise, #spoon hug

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are wearing casual clothes. Dilbert is dancing and Wally sits at his computer. Wally says, "Now that our Boss is presumed dead, I found I like to work." Dilbert says, "I finished three projects today!" Alice leans into the cubicle and says, "I lost five pounds, gave up coffee, and applied for seven patents!" Dilbert says, "Go, Alice!" Wally says, "Life without management is like paradise!" Tina the Tech Writer walks in and says, "Who wants to spoon-hug?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3 projects, #cucbicle, #double wide, #elevator, #scarbble, #night, #counterfeit vowles

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. She says, "Norma's son finished three projects last year. You only did one." Dilbert's mom continues, "His cubicle is a double-wide. And his CEO once said hi to him in the elevator." Dilbert's mom concludes, "Thanks to you, my 'scrabble' night is a living hell." Dilbert asks, "Do you still use counterfeit vowels?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I have finished my projects. What's next? "Make a spreadsheet and track something." "Track what?" "I think you'll find that it doesn't matter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #one project, #finished one, #measure worth, #number of projects, #track roi, #losing, #competition amongst mothers, #dilberts mom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert's mom asks, "Why have you only finished one project at work this year? Norma's son did three." Dilbert responds, "You can't measure someone's worth by counting the number of projects he does." Dilbert's mom says to her friends, "Maybe we should track R.O.I. instead." One of her friends replies, "Why, because you're losing?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #behind schedule, #obstical, #projects, #sound dumb, #three engineers, #time management skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: All of your projects are behind schedule. You need to work on your time management skills. Dilbert:Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to do the job of three engineers... ...and the only obstical to your brilliant plan os my poor time management? Boss: Stop making everything I say sound dumb. Dilbert: I dont do it that often. Because you only sound dumb when people understand what you mean. Boss: And thats too Often! Dilbert: Once a week tops.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #budget, #impact, #projects, #bullet, #points, #oxygen, #competition, #jello, #detailed, #senior, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I summarized the budget impacts on six hundred projects with those three bullet points." The Boss reads, "- Oxygen is good. - Competition is bad. - I like Jello." The woman asks, "Do you think it's too detailed for the senior executives?" The Boss replies, "Take out the 'competition' one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrible news, #valuable porject, #three morons, #assigned, #crush them, #carl, #nothing valauable, #shoo shoo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on the couch with his knees bent and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "Terrible news: my boss assigned me to a fun and valuable project." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh. That means at least three morons will be assigned to similar projects. You must find them and crush them . . ." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Back at the office, Dilbert enters a co-worker's cubicle and says, "Carl, old buddy, whatcha workin' on these days?" Carl waves his hands and says, "Nothing fun and valuable. Shoo shoo!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #redundant projects, #big binder, #seems useful, #useless binders, #build my addition

View Transcript

Transcript

A co-worker says to Dilbert, "Three other people asked for that same information. You must be on redundant projects." The man hands Dilbert a binder and says, "Here's a big binder which at first glance seems useful, but you'll realize later it's not." The man says, "I've got a few more useless binders. Do you want 'em?" Dilbert says, "Sure. I'm using them to build an addition to my cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doomed projects, #fake mergencies, #more efficient, #unnecessary meetings, #to do list

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #marketing video, #comments, #finished, #annoyed, #technology, #false, #wrong, #angry, #arms out, #Funny, #glare

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "And that's our new marketing video. We hope it will go viral." The Boss says, "You'll have our comments by tomorrow." Woman says, "I'm not asking for comments. The video is already finished." Dilbert says, "The technology claims in the video are criminally inaccurate." Woman says, "I sent the script to engineering for comments three months ago!" Woman says, "I got an email back from someone named Wally who said it was great." Wally says, "I thought she was asking if it was funny."