Search Results for "finishing"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #finishing projects, #early, #powerpoint, #presentation, #executive retreat, #dead boss hand puppet, #business

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Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

Anticipate Problems

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Anticipate Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #anticipate, #finishing, #friday, #punctual, #anticipating, #things, #problems

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Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #need input, #worked backward, #due date

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Man: I worked backward from the project due date and calculated that we'll need your input on this date. Dilbert: You have me finishing two weeks before I start. Man: Let's schedule a time to talk about that. Dilbert: Sure. How about two weeks ago?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #more money else where, #good coffee, #why stay

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Dilbert says to Dogbert over a cup of coffee: "I know I could earn more money at another company. So why do I stay?" Dogbert says: "Maybe the coffee is good and you enjoy watching the antics of feeble, unaware loosers." Dilbert begins to say: "No, I don't think that's..." But Dogbert, finishing his cup of coffee, cuts him off with: "This coffee is good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #avoid finsihing, #surplus employees, #wrong about knowing

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Business is way down. You know what you need to do." Wally responds, "Avoid finishing anything so we never appear to be surplus employees?" Wally continues, "Maybe this would be a good time to admit that you were wrong about us knowing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #sentence finisher, #money from orphans, #sack and albi, #uncanny accuracy

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Headline: The Sentence Finisher. Dilbert says to a coworker, "I think I should take..." The coworker interrupts, "Money from orphans?" Dilbert says, "No, I mean I need..." The coworker interrupts, "A large sack and an alibi?" Dilbert gets frustrated and says, "You're finishing my sentences with..." The coworker interrupts, "Uncanny accuracy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #coffee rehab program, #blame location, #world headquaters, #recidivism rate

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The speaker greets Wally, "Wally, congratulations on finishing the coffee rehab program." A cab is waiting for Wally. The speaker says, "Our recidivism rate isn't too hot. Our critics blame our location." Wally's cab is parked in front of Starbucks World Headquarters. A voice from inside the building asks, "Who's swimming in our vat?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2007's comic on:


Tags #make cahnges, #history suggests, #infinyte loop, #furious ball, #wild about font, #no hope finsihing

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The Boss: Make these changes and run it by me again. Dilbert: "history suggests I have entered an infinite loop of making changes with no hope of finishing." "My life is a furious ball of nothing." The Boss: "And I'm not wild about the font."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #upcoming, #annual performance review, #finish on time, #agree to disagree, #no raise, #excuses, #disrespect for workers, #annual review, #not paying, #not fare wages

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"Your project deadline is next month, and I can't imagine you finishing on time." "So I dinged you on your annual performance review." "But... I will finish on time." "Well, let's agree to disagree."<r>"What?!" "You're basing my raise on what you IMAGINE I won't do in the furture!" "Relax. If you do finish the project on time, I'll factor it into your next annual review." "Well... Okay. I guess it all averages out." One Year Later "Remember the project that I finished last year?" "No. But the new one looks like it will be late."