Fired Me Yesterday Comic Strips
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230 Results for Fired Me Yesterday
View 1 - 10 results for fired me yesterday comic strips. Discover the best "Fired Me Yesterday" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 28,
2000
Tags #fired me yesterday, #leaving previous job, #non buisness, #use of internet, #crime dont pay
Transcript
The Boss, looking at a piece of paper, asks Dilbert, "And what's your reason for leaving your previous job?" Dilbert answers, "You fired me yesterday for non-business use of the internet." The Boss says, "Crime doesn't pay." Dilbert says, "Wait until you hear my minimum acceptable salary."
Saturday March 31,
2018
Anyone Fired Lately
Tags #blame, #fired, #scapegoat, #laziness, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: Before I give my project status report, has anyone quit or been fired recently? Boss: I fired Ted last week. Now tell me why your project is late. Wally: It was Ted's fault.
Monday April 22,
2019
Think Of You As Family
Tags #office, #office workers, #business, #fired, #boarding school
Transcript
team meeting in conference room. the boss: i think of all of you as family. dilbert: you fired ted yesterday. the boss: i also sent my son to boarding school. what's your point?
Saturday June 18,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service
Transcript
Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?
Sunday September 11,
2011
Tags #employees, #unemployed, #job performance, #fire someone, #cubicle, #fired, #wake up call, #greatness, #business
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!
Monday September 26,
2011
Tags #employees, #violence, #burt nount, #started yesterday, #sneezed away, #business
Transcript
Man: Hi, my name is Burnt Nount. I started here yesterday. Alice: Sneeze coming. AAACHOOO!! I gotta warn you, they come in threes.
Sunday November 20,
2011
Tags #crimes, #gadgets, #inventions, #world class invenotr, #invented prodcuts, #key memeber, #fired for stealing, #stuff to steal, #high five, #hits boss
Transcript
Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?
Saturday July 07,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #ears, #return, #romal, #forgive, #scaring, #yesterday, #revenge
Transcript
Dilbert drives his car and Dogbert sits in the passenger seat. Dogbert's ears are standing straight up. Dilbert says, ". . . And the doctor says it's all in your mind." Dilbert and Dogbert walk into the house. Dilbert continues, "Your ears will return to normal when you forgive me for scaring you yesterday." Dogbert puts a lit firecracker next to Dilbert's bed while he is sleeping. Dogbert says as he leaves the room, "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."
Saturday June 22,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #feeling, #ear, #enjoy, #sin, #yesterday, #q-tip
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert asks, "You know that good feeling you get when you first put a Q-tip in your ear?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah." Dilbert asks, "Can I freely enjoy it, or is it a sin?" Dogbert replies, "I think it's okay." Dilbert says, "Good, because I used a whole box yesterday."
Monday October 21,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wearing, #undewear, #fired, #company, #layoff, #plan, #generous, #leave, #freedom, #local, #management, #dealing
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."