First Step Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

556 Results for First Step

View 1 - 10 results for first step comic strips. Discover the best "First Step" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fear, #managers & supervisors, #snake, #cublicle, #culture of fear, #motivate, #short term, #first step, #urinals, #electrified, #office plant, #pain, #tactics, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Boss: Did you find the snake in your cubicle? Dilbert: What the...? Boss: I put it there because I'm trying to motivate you with a culture of fear. Dilbert: That only works in the short term! Boss: A leader takes the first step without knowing where the next step will be. So get to work, and by they way, one of the urinals is electrified. It's only set to stun, so don't be a baby about it. Wally: His office plant is clear.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #six sigma consulatant, #identify probelms, #control fist, #give me a belt, #second step

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to the meeting, "The first step is to identify your problems." The Boss responds, "We don't have any problems. What's the second step?" Alice pins one hand down with the other and clenches her teeth. She thinks to herself, "Must..control...fist." The Boss says, "I hope someone gives me a belt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #drug treatment program, #admit problem, #proactive, #pointy hored, #hallucinations, #with drawl, #ink blotch test

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Drug Treatment Program Counselor and Alice, whose arms are folded, sitting. Counselor says, "The first step is to admit you have a drug problem." Alice replies, "I don't." Alice continues, "My pointy-haired boss forced me to be here because he thinks it makes him look proactive." Counselor holds up an inkblotch card and says, "Hallucinations are common during withdrawal. Let's do an inkblotch test." Alice cries out, "AAAGH!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #employee skills, #database, #moving everyone, #jobs, #laughed fuzzy

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a conference table with Wally and Asok. Catbert says, "I'm starting an employee skills database." Asok raises his hand and says, "Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don't want?" Catbert says, "No, no, no..... The first step was when I laughed myslef fuzzy thinking about it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #pessimism, #people, #experience, #psychic, #esp, #sixth sense, #learning, #misanthrope

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1989's comic on:


Tags #helen, #asking, #date, #Women, #first-strike, #capability

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert picks up a ringing phone. Dilbert says, "Hello." The voice on the phone says, "This is Helen. We've never met but don't even THINK of asking me for a date . . . ever." Helen hangs up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Women got first-strike capability." Dogbert says, "Surrender."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fishing, #worms, #wasted step, #wasted, #step, #ate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "People catch worms to go fishing." Dogbert thinks, "People eat fish that just ate worms." Dogbert thinks, "There is definitely a wasted step here."