Fish Appear On Screen Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

172 Results for Fish Appear On Screen

View 1 - 10 results for fish appear on screen comic strips. Discover the best "Fish Appear On Screen" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #45 inch screen, #communications staellite, #cure disease, #fish appear on screen, #great products, #marketing, #new product, #room freshener, #telepathic user, #whiten teeth, #time travel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.

Dilbert Characters

Cracked Screen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cracked Screen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phone, #cell phone, #fragile, #design, #screen, #case, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Introducing our new mobile phone product, the BSB 100. BSB stands for Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle. Oops. Voice: What's the 100 stand for? Dilbert: That's how many times you'll have to replace a cracked screen.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hitchcock, #movie, #sequel, #alfred hitchcock, #the fish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Let's go see the new Alfred Hitchcock movie." Dilbert asks, "How could there be a 'new' Hitchcock movie?" Dogbert replies, "It's some kind of a sequel." Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a movie theater watching "Alfred Hitchcock presents The Fish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #computer software, #Dilbert, #display, #internet, #michael, #microchip, #online, #screen, #software

View Transcript

Transcript

Michael: Let me show you a round the inside of your computer. Dilbert: Neat! Michael: Here's where we generate the hypnotic signals for your display screen. Dilbert: Why? Michael: To make you think you need more computers. Dilbert: Good lord, you've learned to reproduce!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #outbox, #mail, #outgoing mail, #fish, #weather, #small talk, #errands

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a desk. A voice from the out box says, "Hey! Big guy, how are ya?" An envelope peeks out of the box and says, "How's the family? You look great . . . Nice weather, huh?" Dilbert walks away thinking, "I hate outgoing mail." The envelope yells, "Do you fish?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #flush, #goldie, #john, #ugly, #stupid, #fish, #life, #rivalry, #suicide note, #schools, #pun

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of an empty fishbowl with his arms on his hips. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You expect me to believe that Goldie flushed HIMSELF down the john??!" Dogbert replies, "Surely you don't believe that I ended his ugly, stupid fish life in a fit of pet rivalry . . ." Dilbert looks at a small piece of paper and says, "Explain how a fish can write a suicide note." Dogbert says, "I've heard they have schools . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #light, #travels, #sound, #shout, #speak, #lips, #appear, #sync-up, #words, #knowledge, #ridiculous, #thing, #heard

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just heard that light travels faster than sound." The Boss continues, "I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words." Dilbert thinks, "A little knowledge can be a ridiculous thing." The Boss thinks, "He probably hasn't heard me yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogumentray, #engineer at work, #director dog, #directing dilbert, #jumps into action, #focus, #moved mouse, #screen saver, #deactivated

View Transcript

Transcript

"As my dogumentary begins, we see the engineer hard at work." "Suddenly, he leaps into action! Years of training and experience come into focus!" "The screen saver has been deactivated. But doubt sets in...was there a better way?" "I should have moved the mouse."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key boards replaced, #motion sensing, #computer screen, #3d image, #technical professionals, #engineer, #moron, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert the Futurist" Dogbert: "Someday, keyboards will be replaced by motion-sensing rings on your fingers..." "The computer screen will be projected into your glasses as a 3-D image." - These developments will not enhance the image of technical professionals." Dilbert: "Are you an engineer?" Moron: "I'm a moron. Common mistake."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old computers, #spare wrokstaion, #screen saver

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "This is just great . . . We engineers have old IBM 286 PCs and you have a Sparc workstation." Wally continues, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only thing you know how to do is stare at the screen saver." The Boss stares at the monitor and thinks, "How does that ball keep bouncing?" Wally says as he walks away, "If anybody needs me I'll be scrolling some text."