Five Years Comic Strips
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441 Results for Five Years
View 1 - 10 results for five years comic strips. Discover the best "Five Years" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 28,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #mouse, #office, #rid, #twenty, #five, #years, #called, #Women, #movement, #butt
Transcript
Dilbert watches as a woman says to the janitor, "Willy, there's a mouse in my office. Please get rid of it." Willy replies, "Haw haw! Twenty-five years of the so-called Women's Movement and nothing is different!" The woman says, "Do it now, or I'll fire your butt." Willy says, "This part is a little different."
Sunday August 30,
1998
Tags #document prcedures, #requirement, #engineers, #submit time cards, #magic cylinder, #trash can, #gone by morning, #five years, #no one complained
Transcript
Dilbert approaches Carol and says, "I need to document your procedures. It's an ISO 9000 requirement." Dilbert starts writing as he asks, "So...the engineers submit their time cards and then you do what?" Carol points to her desk and says, "I put them in a pile until I'm sure that they're all here." Carol points under her desk and continues, "Then I move them to the magic cylinder." Dibert asks, "The trash can?" Carol answers, "No, it's a magic cylinder. I put my work in there and by morning it's gone." Dilbert says, "I've been giving you my time card for five years." Carol responds, "No one has complained yet." Dilbert walks away thinking, "After today, I am NOT rounding to the nearest fifteen minutes."
Saturday March 31,
2001
Tags #evil hr director, #five years expereince, #job interview, #no profit, #dot com president, #Catbert
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIL H.R. DIRECTOR: A man sitting across the desk from Catbert says, "... And I have five years experience as a dot-com president." The man listens as Catbert says, "You're in luck. We need someone who can burn through twenty million dollars without making a profit." Catbert grins widely as the man says, "Really? The last nine interviewers said the same thing but they were joking."
Monday April 15,
2002
Tags #cleaned tool shed, #running tally, #time waster, #frozen snake, #shovel, #five years one day
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, "This weekend I cleaned out my tool shed." Alice hits a stop watch, "Click." The Boss asks, "What's that for?" Alice responds, "I keep a running tally of how much of my time you waste." The Boss continues, "...And I thought it was a frozen snake but it was actually a shovel!" Alice looks at her clock and mutters, "Five years, one day."
Tuesday August 27,
2002
Tags #accounting irregularities, #five year plan, #five years ago, #investigated, #prophetic, #5 year assessment
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I found or five-year plan from five years ago." The Boss continues, "The last page says, "At the end of the fifth year, the entire management team will be..." The Boss continues to read, "... investigated for accounting irregularities." Wally looks at the secret service agent who has just entered and says, "Spooky."
Thursday October 17,
2002
Tags #product launch party, #day and night, #working, #five years, #mime impression, #party, #add much
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A coworker approaches and says, "Can you come to the product-launch party next week?" Dilbert responds, "No. I'll be working day and night for five years to build the product you think you're launching." The coworker says, "Something tells me you don't add much to a party." Dilbert responds, "You haven't seen my mime impression."
Monday August 11,
2003
Tags #30 years, #award for five years, #sick day
Transcript
The Boss: Now Id like to recognize walter for his five years of work for this company. walter: Thanks, but I've been here for thirty years ....Oh, I get it now. I feel a sick day coming on.
Friday September 17,
2004
Tags #assistant for five years, #questions boss, #leadership, #frustrated, #bugging, #wax ears
Transcript
Carol: Something's been bugging me. Carol: Ive been an executive assistant for five years. when do I get promoted to executive? Ive got leadership coming out of my ears! The boss: Thats wax.
Saturday October 18,
2014
Tags #deception, #laziness, #productivity, #work ethic, #sensors detect, #cubicle, #engineering, #problem, #five years, #robot, #boss, #temporary boss
Transcript
Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: My sensors detect no work coming from this cubicle. Wally: That's because I have been working on an engineering problem in my head for five years. Robot: Are you almost done? Wally: I was, but you just made me forget all of it.
Saturday March 05,
1994
Tags #technical degree, #obsolete, #5 years, #doohickey
Transcript
Dogbert: "According to this, a technical degree becomes obsolete in five years." Dilbert: "Do you mind? I'm trying to get some work done on the...uh..." Dogbert: "Uh-oh." Dilbert: "Doohickey."