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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1997's comic on:

Tags #alice, #bonus, #capitalism, #flawed premise, #less work, #wally bonus, #worked less, #implications staggering, #frightening bonus

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Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a table. Alice says, "I did less work than usual this quarter and I got a bonus." Alice says, "The implications are staggering. The entire system of capitalism has a flawed premise." Alice says, "There's only ONE thing that could make this bonus more frightening." Wally says, "I got one, too."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1994's comic on:

Tags #planning to focus, #products killing people, #steal office supplies, #studies are flawed, #urban areas, #advertising

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"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We know our products are killing people, but we're claiming the studies are flawed." "We're planning to focus our advertising on the youth markets in poor urban areas." "So, given all that, is it okay for me to steal office supplies?" "I'd have to say yes."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1995's comic on:

Tags #pursue goal, #world domination, #talk radio host, #unique conservative view, #deserve mockery, #flawed view, #intelligent questions

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Dogbert says to Dilbert who is sitting at his desk, "I think the best way to pursue my goal of world domination is to become a talk radio host." Dogbert continues, "I'll promote my unique conservative viewpoint that people are idiots who deserve to be mocked." Dilbert asks, "Won't people show your viewpoint to be flawed by virtue of their intelligent questions?" Dogbert asks, "Like that one?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1995's comic on:

Tags #ranked engineers, #best to wworst, #bottom 10%, #includes you, #logically flawed, #fire, #fire body parts, #wally freaked outm, #torsos, #glands, #blood and bile, #fired hair

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Wally sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We ranked all the engineers from best to worst." The Boss continues, "We plan to get rid of the bottom ten percent. That includes you, Wally." Wally replies, "Your plan is logically flawed." Wally continues, "If you fire the bottom ten percent, you'll STILL have a bottom 10%." Wally continues, "You'll fire and fire, but there will always be a bottom 10%, until finally . . ." Wally stands up and shouts, "When less than ten people are left you'll have to fire body parts instead of whole people!!!" Wally screams, "We'll have torsos and glands wandering around unable to use keyboards . . . Blood and bile everywhere!!!" Dilbert asks, "How'd it go?" Wally replies, "He fired my hair."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2000's comic on:

Tags #bad assumptions, #analysis, #applied flawed logic, #predetermined answer, #disillusioning, #pie chart, #science

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Dilbert tells the Boss as he hands him a document: "I did the analysis using your bad assumptions." He continues as the Boss examines the document: "Then I applied your flawed logic and arrived at your predetermined answer." Dilbert asks the Boss: "Shall I begin disillusioning the team?" The Boss says about the document: "This needs a pie chart."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2002's comic on:

Tags #man on moon, #recycled paper, #flawed analogy, #good analogies

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "If we can put a man on the moon, we can build a computer made entirely of recycled paper." Dilbert responds, "Your flawed analogy only shows that other people can do other things." The Boss says, "Maybe you should call other people and ask how they do it." Dilbert responds, "Maybe they use good analogies."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2008's comic on:

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #420 times, #smarter, #system is flawed, #contradicting your boss

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I earn 420 times what you make. That means I'm 420 times smarter." A man says, "Actually, it means the system is deeply flawed." Dogbert says, "If you were 420 times smarter, you wouldn't be contradicting your boss right now."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2010's comic on:

Tags #consult, #critic, #argument, #waste of time, #rip off, #expensive, #angry

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "A good leader cultivates internal critics so all sides of an argument are heard." Dogbert says, "For example, I cultivated Dilbert to argue the point I just made." Dilbert says, "Your premise is that a leader is not qualified to make decisions without the help of critics." Dilbert says, "But selecting the appropriate critic is itself a decision." Dilbert says, "There is no reason to assume a leader is any better at selecting a critic than he is at making any other decision." Dilbert says, "Your overpaid consultant is recommending that you add randomness to an already flawed process." Dilbert says, "In summary, this meeting is a waste of time, and your consultant is ripping you off." Dogbert says, "How great was that? You owe me $400 for my time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1997's comic on:

Tags #business consulatnts, #common sense, #debunks effectiveness, #logically flwaed, #no common sense, #writing book, #mass market

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Dogbert stands at a desk typing. He tells Dilbert, "I'm writing a book that debunks the effectiveness of business consultants." Dilbert says, "But common sense would say that you're being a consultant yourself, so your opinion is logically flawed." Dilbert says, "Only people with no common sense will buy your book." Dogbert replies, "I prefer to call them the mass market."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2012's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking

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Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.