Search Results for "flexible"
Share June 20, 1994's comic on:
"We've never needed a corporate headhunter before, but now it's the only way to solve our staffing problem." "Are you aware that headhunters find new employees? We don't behead the ones you already have." "I don't suppose you'd be flexible..." "I could find a disgruntled ex-post office employee for you."
Share October 08, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and a man with a goatee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a thick binder and says, "These are the procedures my company uses to approve projects." Dilbert says, "I guess a small company such as yours is used to flying by the seat of the pants." The man replies, "Not necessarily." Dilbert asks, "You mean you're flexible?" The man shows Dilbert his bare foot and leg and replies, "I mean I'm not wearing pants."
Share December 12, 1996's comic on:
A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "I'm flattered. But I can't date you because we're different religions." Dilbert says, "I'm flexible. I'd change my religion to get a date." The woman replies, "It wouldn't work in this case." Dilbert sits on the couch and asks Dogbert, "Did you know there's a whole religion based on not dating me?" Dogbert asks, "Where do you think I go every Sunday?"
Share April 07, 1997's comic on:
Alice sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Alice, your performance is good, but you must learn to deal with ambiguity." Alice asks, "Did I just get blamed for your indecisive leadership?" The Boss replies, "I'm not indecisive; I'm flexible." Alice says, "That would explain how your head got where it is."
Share August 02, 1997's comic on:
The Boss walks up to Dilbert followed by an Elbonian. He says, "You'll need to share your cubicle with the Elbonian audit team until we get some more space." The Boss is surrounded by three elbonians. He says, "This is their holy week so I expect you to be open minded and flexible." Dilbert and the Elbonians are sqeezed into Dilbert's cubicle. Dilbert asks, "How do you celebrate the holy week?" an Elbonian answers, "Wedgies, mostly."
Share April 19, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert asks a business associate, "Can you get this done in thirty days?" The business associate replies, "Yes, absolutely." The business associate continues, "We'll just travel faster than light to a black hole and discover a doorway in time." Dilbert replies, "That sounds iffy." The business associate says, "Excuse me for being flexible."
Share February 18, 2003's comic on:
Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Catbert addresses a meeting, "From now on, the company will allow flex time." Catbert continues, "You can work any hours you like, as long as you're here from eight to five." Dilbert turns and says, "That's called unpaid overtime." Catbert replies, "And you need to be flexible to do that yourself, right?"
Share December 26, 2005's comic on:
"I need to use up my budget before the end of the year or else I'll get less next year." "So I'll be flexible about approving expenses for a few days. Wink, wink." "Nice coffee-holding panda." "You should see the one that isn't pregnant."
Share September 06, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Share January 19, 2003's comic on:
A business associate asks The Boss, "Can your department do this for us?" The Boss responds, "No problem." The business associate says, "Really? It's outside of your normal scope of work and I know you're over-loaded." The Boss exclaims, "We're a flexible, client-driven organization!" Asok asks Wally, "Wally, how can I avoid projects that are outside of my scope of responsibility?" Wally responds, "Cheerfully accept the assignments and then never work on them." Wally continues, "It bolsters your claims of being overloaded while leaving you free for work that matters." Asok asks, "Work matters?" Wally replies, "Well, not to us." The Boss hands Asok an assignment and says, "I'm not even sure what they want." Asok responds, "I'll start ignoring it immediately."