Flu Darts Comic Strips
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18 Results for Flu Darts
View 1 - 10 results for flu darts comic strips. Discover the best "Flu Darts" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 14,
1998
Tags #free flu shots, #wealth stock holders, #hunt down, #shoot flu darts, #not flu prevention shits
Transcript
Catbert is standing at the entrance to Wally's cubicle. Catbert tells him, "The company is giving free flu shots, Wally." A man holding a rifle, wearing safari gear and glasses, reminiscent of Teddy Roosevelt, stands next to Catbert. Catbert continues, "The shots will be delivered by wealthy stockholders who will hunt you down and shoot you with flu darts." Wally, with the barrel of the rifle pointed in his back, asks, "At least I won't get the flu, right?" Catbert replies, "You're probably thinking of the flu prevention shots."
Friday May 15,
1998
Tags #flu darts, #stockholders, #benefit of stockholders, #not employees, #401k stock, #not real, #boss says not real
Transcript
Wally is standing in front of the Boss' desk. There are four darts in Wally's back. The Boss tells him, "No one likes being hunted down and shot with flu darts, Wally." He continues, "But remember: companies are managed for the benefit of stockholders, not employees." Wally responds, "I own stock. It's in my 401(K) account." The Boss counters, "I'm not supposed to tell you, but none of that is real."
Monday November 14,
2011
Tags #biology, #chemistry, #practical jokers, #biotech field, #giving free flu shots, #stem cells, #science
Transcript
Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.
Thursday March 15,
2012
Tags #viruses, #piranha flu, #sneezes, #bad allergies
Transcript
Carol: I've got a wicked case of piranha flu. Ted: I've never heard of... Carol: Ahchooo!!! I should probably tell people I just have bad allergies.
Saturday April 04,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #idaho, #flu, #healthy, #perfectly, #work
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Have you heard about the Idaho flu that's going around?" Dogbert continues, "At first you feel perfectly healthy . . . Then bam, you die." Dilbert pulls on his tie and says, "Hey, I feel perfectly healthy right now." Dogbert walks away thinking, "My work here is done."
Wednesday October 21,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #mild, #flu, #normally, #survive, #brief, #developed, #empathy, #die, #afford, #ambassador, #class, #service
Transcript
Dogbert says to a patient on the examining table, "You have a mild flu, and normally you would survive." Dogbert continues, "However, in this brief visit I've developed no real empathy for you, so I've decided to let you die." The man asks, "Is there anything I can do?!" Dogbert replies, "Well . . . Unless you can afford my new 'Ambassador Class' service."
Thursday October 09,
1997
Tags #telecommunters, #eat anytime, #wild animals, #tranquilizer darts, #flatbed, #giant shoehorn
Transcript
A fat Alice looks in the refrigerator and thinks, "Telecommuters can eat any time they want, just like wild animals." Alice lies on the couch and thinks, "There's only one way they'll ever get me back in the cubicle." The Boss looks at a chart and says, "Here's the plan. You'll need tranquilizer darts, a flatbed truck, and giant shoehorn." Asok says, "No harpoon?"
Friday January 23,
1998
Tags #flu, #germs, #fly through air, #sneezed, #tissue, #sick, #ill, #contagious, #office illness, #medical
Transcript
An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."
Saturday January 24,
1998
Tags #slight flu, #copy to wally, #project, #least reason to live
Transcript
A guy with cold sweat hands a paper to Dilbert. he says, "I finished my work despite having a slight flu. Here's your copy." Dilbert says, "Um... you should give that to Wally." The guy says, "Wally isn't on this project." Dilbert says, "I know. I just figure he has the least reason to live."
Sunday August 01,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #hospital, #doctor, #computer, #bed, #flu
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. He asks, "Is it the flu?" The doctor looks at a chart and says, "Hmm . . ." The doctor says, "I had the computer run an economic report on the market value of your organs." The doctor continues, "I could make thousands of dollars by selling your parts for transplants." The doctor continues, "Of course, this is all moot unless you die in my office while under my care." The doctor says, "But if I let you die from the flu then my malpractice insurance will go up again." The doctor continues, "But if you live I can continue to bill you for unnecessary tests." The doctor continues, "There's a slight economic advantage to keeping you alive . . . If you leave three pints of blood and do me a little favor." Back at home, Dilbert lies face down on the bed. He tells Dogbert, "Then I had to wax his Jeep with my clothes." Dogbert replies, "Apparently he didn't know what kind of fabrics you wear."