Fluorescent Lights Comic Strips
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28 Results for Fluorescent Lights
View 1 - 10 results for fluorescent lights comic strips. Discover the best "Fluorescent Lights" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 11,
2000
Tags #cynics annonymous, #fluorescent lights, #higher power, #naive optimism, #perfect emplyee
Transcript
Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."
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Thursday June 06,
2002
Tags #desk feels better, #fluorescent lights, #close door, #teach him, #new office
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his new office. He thinks, "Aah.. Even the desk feels better when you have your own office." Dilbert leans back in his chair and thinks, "The fluorescent lights are warmer and brighter." Dilbert is sleeping in his underwear on top of his desk. The Boss says to Carol, "Remind me to teach him when to close the door."
Sunday July 24,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science
Transcript
Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.
Wednesday February 22,
1995
Tags #black outs, #lights, #motion detectors, #hired a temp, #walk around, #go off, #another journalism major, #waste, #fan us
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."
Saturday November 30,
1996
Tags #improvement, #document, #errors, #huge blinking red lights, #ambulance as warning
Transcript
Alice sits at her desk. Asok tells her, "I found many areas for improvement in your document, Alice." Asok continues, "I'm only an intern, but these error stand out like huge, red, blinking lights." Asok continues, "You could put this on top of an ambulance as a warning." Alice rolls up her sleeve as if she is about to punch Asok. She says, "I was thinking the same thing about you."
Saturday August 25,
2001
Tags #awkward, #couch, #green, #lights on, #meet new girlfreind, #save energy, #smooch, #turn lights, #dinosaur
Transcript
Dilbert and his girlfriend are sitting on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I turn off the lights to... um... save energy?" She replies, "I'm green with that." The lights are off. There are only sounds of kissing: "Mmm.. smooch smooch." "Smooch smooch." Dilbert's girlfriend turns on the light to find Dilbert on top of Bob. Bob says, "I came down to meet your new girlfriend but now I think it'll be awkward."
Monday December 08,
2003
Tags #trudge, #work, #earn money, #lights on, #shower is ready
Transcript
Dogbert: Wake up and trudge to work! Earn money so I can leave on the lights in every room. Dogbert: Your shower is ready, I turned it on last night.
Wednesday April 28,
2004
Tags #spouses get benefits, #marry each other, #fluorescent light, #walls head, #director of hr, #save money
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of HR "Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits." "If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money." "Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."
Sunday May 23,
1999
Tags #quick question, #innocent work realted, #question, #try to impress, #knowledge of engineering, #pathetic hope, #value, #intelligence, #physical appearence, #red bmw, #lights on
Transcript
Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."
Sunday November 18,
2012
Tags #crimes, #engineers, #engineering question, #holiday lights, #homeless guy, #catapult, #satellite map, #fell off roof, #flight oath, #neighbors pool, #broken leg, #heartless
Transcript
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer an engineering question? My wife is out of town visiting her sister. She asked me to put up the holiday lights while she was gone. I hired a homeless guy to do it and he fell off the roof. What's the easiest way to get rid of the body before my wife comes home? Dilbert: Your question is disturbing, but I'm intrigued by the engineering part. Here's a design for a catapult you can build at home. And here's a satellite map showing the best flight path to a neighbor's pool. Did he die right away? Boss: No, just a broken leg.