Search Results for "focus on marketing"
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Character
Friday October 07,
1994
Tags #never managed, #marketing people, #do marketing things, #segments, #focus groups, #segmenting, #dominate industry, #motivated
Transcript
The Boss: "I've never managed marketing people before. But a good manager can manage anything." "So...I order you to go do marketing things...like segmenting and focus groups..." "And keep focusing and segmenting until we dominate the industry!!!" Worker: "Well, I'm motivated."
Thursday July 06,
1995
Tags #told stan, #marketing, #dna, #gullibility, #reverse process, #entire reality, #unverified, #anecdotes, #rumour, #alleged focus group, #becoming weasel, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I jokingly told Stan in marketing that I reprogrammed his DNA. He's so gullible that he's actually changing!" Dogbert suggests, "You must use his gullibility to reverse the process. Remember, his entire reality is shaped by unverified customer anecdotes." Dilbert tells Stan, "I heard a rumor of a story of an alleged focus group where a quote taken out of context indicates you're not becoming a weasel." Stan says, "I'm not?! Yipeee!"
Thursday March 11,
2004
Tags #repeat customer, #rate of recidivism, #focus on marketing, #learn from experience, #free knuckle tattoo, #nicknames for women, #free book, #criminals, #dumb
Transcript
The boss: "We only have a 10% repeat customer rate whereas prisons have a 70% rate of recidivism." "We need to focus our marketing on criminals because they don't learn from experience." "Order now and get a free knuckle tattoo plus our free book 1,001 nicknames for women."
Sunday September 07,
2014
Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation
Transcript
CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.
Saturday February 07,
2015
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work
Tags #etiquette & ethics, #marketing, #robot, #robotics, #slave, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #marketing leagl, #enslave humans, #business
Transcript
Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?
Monday April 20,
2015
Brainstorm With Other Engineers
Tags #product design, #managers, #marketing, #simplicity, #complication, #inventions, #ideas, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?
Monday August 14,
2017
Focus Groups Are Unreliable
Tags #focus groups, #strategy, #logic
Transcript
Dilbert: Our focus groups don't like our new product idea. Boss: No problem. Focus groups aren't reliable. Dilbert: Why do we pay for unreliable information? Boss: We can't afford the other kind.
Saturday October 07,
2017
Fix It With Marketing
Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.
Saturday April 16,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #developed app, #spare time, #awful thing, #lees hinest, #marketing, #business
Transcript
Ted: I developed this app in my spare time. What do you think? Dilbert: I think you made spare time look like an awful thing. If you'd like a less honest answer, I can recommend someone in marketing. Ted: I might try that.
Thursday June 30,
2011
Tags #apps, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new smartphone, #tongue on flagpole, #victime of good marketing, #voice reception
Transcript
Carol: Check out my new smartphone! The voice receptions is a bit weak, but I can usually make a call if I keep my tongue on a flagpole. Alice: You might be a victim of good marketing. Carol: It has apps!