Forest Comic Strips
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8 Results for Forest
View 1 - 8 results for forest comic strips. Discover the best "Forest" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 04,
1996
Tags #angels dance in head, #fault, #huge number, #jeopardizing, #prototype, #quality assurance, #schedule, #tree falls forest
Transcript
The Boss says to Ratbert, "In the short time you've worked in quality assurance, you've found a huge number of flaws in our prototype." Ratbert replies, "That's my job!" The Boss continues, "You're jeopardizing our schedule. The entire project will fail and it's all YOUR fault." Ratbert asks, "Why is it MY fault?" The Boss replies, "If a tree falls in the forest . . . And we've already sold the tree . . . Does it have quality?" Ratbert asks, "How many angels can dance on your head?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday September 06,
2018
Carol Gets Some Candor
Tags #carol, #Wally, #radical candor, #candor, #compliment, #deer, #scat, #forest, #fire
Transcript
Wally: Looks like you got a good dose of radical candor. Carol: Yes, but it can bundled with insincere kindness, so all I felt was some tingling. Wally: You look like deer scat after a forest fire. Carol: Thank you for your candor.
Thursday September 03,
1992
Tags #rivers and trees, #management, #course, #exercise, #favorite, #rope, #team, #figure, #cross, #muddy, #patch, #feet, #dirty, #ranger
Transcript
An instructor says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "This next exercise is always a favorite." The instructor points to a muddy streambed and says, "Using only a rope, your team must figure out how to cross the muddy patch without getting your feet dirty." The instructor lies across the muddy patch, bound by the rope. He says, I could have been a forest ranger, but no-o-o-o . . ."
Friday April 30,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #news, #jobs, #billion, #owls, #asteroid, #coincidence, #researchers, #television, #device, #idiots
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert's good news show." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "Nine out of ten people have jobs . . . Three billion people had a nice day today . . . And the forest has plenty of owls." The caption says, "Regular news show." A news anchor says, "A huge asteroid could destroy earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries." The other reporter yells, "We'll all die!!" The caption says, "Back to Dogbert . . ." Dogbert holds a remote control and says, "In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off of your television screen."
Wednesday October 28,
1998
Tags #dogcart the consultant, #target market, #gullible moron, #commercials, #sincere actor
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert stands on the conference table. Dogbert holds a pointer. Dogbert says, "Our target market is the gullible moron segment." Dogbert points at a television. Dogbert says, "Our commercials will feature an actor who seems sincere." The actor on the TV says, "I care about the rain forest... and you." A couple sits on the couch and watches TV. The voice from the television says, "I like kittens... and you." The man says, "Wow.. we made it into his top two."
Saturday August 18,
2007
Tags #impulse control, #chew on pencil, #beaver, #borrowed pencil, #tree falls, #wild
Transcript
Coffee swilling Beaver Beaver: If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it.... Id still chew the bejeezus out f it because I have no impulse control. That reminds me: the pencil I borrowed from you isn't coming back.
Saturday January 25,
2014
Tags #frustration, #ignorance (knowledge), #project team, #forrest fire, #dropping baby, #analogy, #available people, #stop progress
Transcript
Boss: Alice, I'm adding Jeff to your project team. Alice: That's like trying to put out a forest fire by dropping a baby on it. Boss: I'm available to help, too. Alice: Okay, your job is to keep Jeff from doing anything.
Saturday July 04,
2015
One Missile
Tags #hiding, #off the grid, #surveillance, #spying, #drone, #emergency, #drone strike, #hacker
Transcript
G-Man 1: One of our drones found the fugitive hacker Dilbert in a remote forest. He ate a poisonous berry and will be dead in minutes. Can I light him up for practice? G-Man 2: One missile. They're pricey.