Found Something Comic Strips
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764 Results for Found Something
View 1 - 10 results for found something comic strips. Discover the best "Found Something" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 16,
2001
Tags #life no purpose, #scratch back, #service to others, #feel useful, #found something, #works
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting by the bank of a river. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My life has no purpose." Dogbert responds, "Scratch my back." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Are you saying the purpose of life is service to others?" Dogbert says "Okay." Dilberts says to Dogbert, "It does make me feel useful." Dogbert responds "I think we both found something that works."
Sunday April 15,
2012
Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.
Wednesday February 16,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #move to big building, #regular job, #so unimprotant, #won't be missed, #work on something, #month, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Tina, you'll be in charge of our move to the new building." Tina says, "That means you think my regular job is so unimportant that I won't be missed if I work on something else for a month." The Boss says, "If it makes you feel any better, this will take longer than a month."
Monday April 02,
2012
Tags #inventions, #new app, #ten people created something, #population increases, #potentail value, #enter world, #unoriginal ideas, #agreeing
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I have an idea for a new app, I discover that ten people already created something just like it. As the population of the world increases, the potential value of every idea I have approaches zero. Dogbert: So, it's the entire world's fault that you have unoriginal ideas? Dilbert: Why does your agreeing sound like mocking?
Friday June 01,
2012
Tags #Astrology, #furniture, #magic, #feng shui, #black magic, #voodoo, #psychic, #overbooked, #office design, #occult
Transcript
Dilbert: The feng shui consultant you asked for is overbooked. But I found a guy who is heavily into astrology, black magic, and voodoo. Boss: Are you trying to tell me something? Dilbert: Ask him. He's also a psychic.
Thursday February 28,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #shopping, #salesperson, #something, #buy, #looking
Transcript
Dilbert walks into a store with a sale sign. He thinks, "I hate shopping." Dilbert continues thinking, "There's never a salesperson when you want to buy something." Dilbert continues thinking, "But when you're just looking . . ." Several salespeople cling to his back, arms and legs.
Saturday August 10,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #stares, #plotting, #something, #instinct, #people's, #noses, #strong
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair thinking, "I hate it when my dog just stares at me." Dilbert thinks, "Is he plotting? Does hoe know something I don't? What is it?" Dogbert looks at Dilbert through a pair of binoculars. Dogbert thinks, "Dogs don't like to talk about it, but the instinct to look up people's noses is very strong."
Tuesday February 18,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #lab, #ruebert, #creating, #feminine, #nuture, #serve, #program, #found, #national organization, #Women, #phone, #book, #surprises
Transcript
Dilbert asks Ruebert the Robot, "What are you doing in my lab, Ruebert?" Ruebert replies, "I am creating a feminine robot to nurture and serve me." Ruebert continues, "I didn't know how to program it, so I found this 'National Organization of Women' in the telephone book . . ." Ruebert continues, "It turns out that this is exactly the kind of thing they like to help with." The female robot asks, "Do you like surprises?"
Friday July 17,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #stock market, #miserable, #fortune, #law of found money, #chance, #Win, #intuition, #guide, #color, #monitor, #gray 9
Transcript
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."
Wednesday September 23,
1992
Tags #photograph, #Dilbert, #man, #invented, #something, #entire, #product, #obsolete, #plan, #wax, #desk, #hair, #work
Transcript
A man shows a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "His name is Dilbert. He invented something that would make our entire product line obsolete." The man behind the desk asks, "Do you have a plan?" The employee replies, "Uh . . . I could wax your desk with my hair again." The man says, "It's just crazy enough to work."