Four People Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Four People

View 1 - 10 results for four people comic strips. Discover the best "Four People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heres card, #email, #address, #eighty characters, #meaningless, #reply function

View Transcript

Transcript

A man hands Dilbert a business card and says, "Thanks for the meeting. Here's my card." Dilbert reads the card and says, "You call that an e-mail address? It's eighty characters long and mostly meaningless." The caption says, "People with embarrassing e-mail systems . . ." Four people sit in a circle. A woman says, "I tell people, 'The reply function doesn't work. You have to type in my address.'" The man thinks, "Loser."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #laziness, #successful people, #start early, #really working, #boss, #first four hours

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Studies show that successful people can start early. Can I start work at 4AM and quit at noon? Boss: How would I know you were really working the first four hours? Wally: Same way you know now. Boss: I don't know now. Wally: It's like that but with less attendance.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diversity training, #respect differences, #four groups, #insults group, #dog, #teaching, #workers, #animals, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In 'diversity sensitivity' training you will learn to respect those who are different. DOgbert: People basically fall into these four groups. ugly smart cute smart ugly stupid cute stupid Dilbert: This is different than I expected. Dogbert: I notice that all of you are in this box here.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deputy of common sense, #four hour meeting, #behind schedule, #agenda, #morale is low

View Transcript

Transcript

During a staff meeting, Dogbert stands on the table holding his gun and says, "FREEZE!!" Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and says, "You scheduled a four-hour meeting to find out why people are behind schedule!" The guy says, "No, look at the agenda! The fourth hour is about why morale is so low. A woman next to him whispers to Dogbert, Shoot him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."

Tall People Earn More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tall People Earn More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #discrimination, #fairness, #height, #money, #salary, #wages, #Women, #tall people, #short people, #performance reviews, #height accordingly, #female workers

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.

The Problem Is People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

People Are Terrible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate, #human error, #interpersonal, #introvert, #misanthropy, #people, #antisocial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

Ceo Is Like Normal People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is Like Normal People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office environment, #cubicle, #work, #normal, #people, #respect, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.