Fracking Awesome Comic Strips
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38 Results for Fracking Awesome
View 1 - 10 results for fracking awesome comic strips. Discover the best "Fracking Awesome" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 02,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #fracking, #competitors, #headquarters, #pollute water, #generate earthquakes, #fracking awesome
Transcript
CEO: We're going to start fracking under our biggest competitors headquarters. My plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes to destroy their campus. The project code name is "fracking awesome." Dilbert: Catchy.
Monday July 04,
2011
Tags #interviews, #ignorant and bored, #hired, #awesome tech skills, #management genius
Transcript
Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.
Tuesday October 25,
2011
Tags #big business, #meetings, #succession plan, #awesome and charismatic, #replace you, #bag of moss
Transcript
CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.
Friday December 30,
2011
Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit
Transcript
Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!
Saturday October 06,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #executives, #poor persons, #ceo morality test, #new tech, #fracking, #grinding porr people, #high pressure, #shale
Transcript
Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test
Wednesday January 02,
2013
Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #good leader, #ego, #great leaders, #awesome, #business
Transcript
Catbert: A good leader puts his team ahead of his own ego. Boss: What do great leaders do? I'm thinking it's the opposite, right? Catbert: They don't do what you just did. Boss: They don't be awesome?
Friday March 08,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #joking, #experts, #best leaders, #good sense of humour, #awesome leader, #hilarous, #laugh
Transcript
Boss: Experts say the best leaders have a good sense of humor. I'm an awesome leader, therefore I must be hilarious. Wally: I can't tell if I should laugh at that. Boss: That's because you're not a leader.
Wednesday April 07,
2010
Tags #meeting, #servers crash, #verify, #accomplishment, #awesome, #back of head, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "Our servers were about to crash, so I wrote a suite of scripts to keep them running." The Boss says, "Your accomplishments are suspiciously hard to verify." Wally says, "So, recapping what we know for sure, you're an inadequate verifier, and you can't rule out the possibility that I'm awesome."
Thursday March 03,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #mobile (cell) phones, #app, #awesome, #don't fire me, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, there's an app for you." Cellphone says, "Waa-waa! Don't fire me!" The Boss says, "How awesome is that?"
Sunday October 26,
2008
Tags #carbicle, #50%car, #50% cubicle, #100% awesome, #human efficiency, #expression, #engineer, #something perfect, #genius, #shut up, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I call my invention a carbicle." Dilbert says, "It's 50% car, 50% cubicle, and 100% awesome." Dilbert says, "it is the ultimate expression of human efficiency." Dilbert says, "Rarely does an engineer get to create something so perfect that it can never me improved." Dilbert says, "I hesitate to use the word 'genius,' but I won't protest if others do." Dogbert says, "You should cram a bed in there." Dilbert says, "Shut up." Dogbert says, "You shut up."