Fraud Comic Strips

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17 Results for Fraud

View 1 - 10 results for fraud comic strips. Discover the best "Fraud" comics from Dilbert.com.

Fraud Presenter

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Fraud Presenter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #presentation, #incorrect, #fraud, #exposed, #resignation, #immediate, #meeting, #won

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co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design product brochure, #criminal fraud, #marketing, #not worng, #conscience, #marketing epople, #business

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billion dollar business plan, #sec investigates, #securities fraud, #hancuffed, #employees singing

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The Boss approaches Carol's desk and asks, "Have you finished my billion dollar business plan yet?" Carol answers, "Almost." Carol continues, "I'm up to the part where the S.E.C. investigates you for securities fraud." Carol says to the Boss, "I can't decide what the employees will be singing when you get handcuffed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed to accomplish.objectives, #physical impossiblities, #logical impossibilities, #unforeseen problems, #spying, #consumer fraud, #win converstaion

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The Boss says, "Why have you failed to accomplish any of your objectives this quarter?" Dilbert says, "Well, I took the objectives you gave me and put them into three categories." Dilbert says, "The first group includes physical impossibilities, such as being in two places at the same time." Dilbert says, "The second group includes logical impossibilities, such as anticipating unforeseen problems." Dilbert says, "Last, we have the illegal objectives, including industrial spying and consumer fraud." Dilbert says, "So I spend my time doing things that are both important and legal, while hoping you wouldn't fire me for it." Dilbert says, "Whoa, what just happened? Is it my imagination, or did I just win this conversation?" Dilbert says, "It was my imagination."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compete on price, #quality features, #fraud, #marketing, #business

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The Boss: "We can't compete on price." "We also can't compete on quality features or service." "That leaves fraud, which I'd like you call marketing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp marketing, #saturate airwaves, #as campiagn, #talking squirrel, #fake accent, #complete fraud, #pack up desk, #ruin everything

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The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?

Tina Interviews Wally For Article

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Tina Interviews Wally For Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #economist, #fraud, #interview, #jargon, #lying, #website, #total fraud, #technology

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Wally The Economist. Tina: I have to interview you for our website. And since you are a total fraud as an economist, why don't we skip the interview and I'll invent some quotes from you? Wally: That sound economical. Tina: Don't even try.

Dogbert The Auditor

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Dogbert The Auditor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #consultant, #company, #fee, #fraud, #crime, #report, #question

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dogbert: for a reasonable fee, i will audit your company and find any fraud or crime if it exists. dilbert: what's to stop you from taking bribes from the fraudsters and reporting that everything is fine? dogbert: my business model depends on you not asking that kind of question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project cancelled, #answer, #task delegated, #craft response, #boss delegating job, #do nothing boss, #fraud

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The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ken the skeptic, #contents of envelope, #charcoal drawing, #woodchuck, #small orange, #little frauf, #ink drawing, #beaver eating tangerine

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Ken the Skeptic... Ken holds an envelope and says, "I alone know the contents of this envelope." Ratbert sits on a stool. Ratbert holds his hands to his temples and says, "It's a charcoal drawing of a woodchuck eating a small orange." Keen says, "Nice try, you little fraud, but that's a long way from an ink drawing of a beaver eating a tangerine."