Freely Singing Comic Strips
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Dogbert sits on his pillow playing a guitar. Dilbert asks, "What's all the racket?" Dogbert replies, "I'm singing the 'greens.'" Dilbert asks, "Is that like the 'blues?'" Dogbert replies, "Same beat, just not so darned depressing." Dogbert sings, "Oooh . . . My car needs a tune up and I overslept ten minutes baaabee . . ."
Bob the Dinosaur, Dawn the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the floor. Bob says, "We'll kick off the dinosaur comeback tour by singing 'My Way.'" Bob continues, "Then we'll break the instruments, wade into the crowd and bite the head off somebody in the front row!" Dogbert replies, "'Ozzy Osbourne' already did that."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "It's hard to express how I feel when I'm with you." Dilbert says, "Try." The woman says, "Imagine a field of wheat on a sunny Spring day. Birds are singing." Dilbert says, "There . . . That wasn't too hard." The woman says, "Now imagine a tractor on your chest . . ."
Dilbert and an executive sit at a table eating lunch. The executive says, "I have these lunches to find out what the workers are thinking. You may speak freely." Dilbert says, "Okay . . . It seems like the company is lacking leadership and direction. The executives squelch all initiative by punishing those who take risks and voice opinions." The executive puts some food on his fork and says, "You leave me little choice but to fling this au gratin potato at your forehead."
Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. He sees an old woman holding a stick and says, "Mother Nature!" Mother Nature says, "Hi, Dogbert, you little lard bag." Dogbert says, "Geez, Mother Nature, why are you so mean?" Mother Nature replies, "I'm not mean; it's natural. Nature seems cruel but it's really beautiful." Mother Nature continues, "For example, do you see that robin that's singing?" Dogbert says, "Yes?" Mother Nature zaps the bird with her stick. As feathers float down from the tree, Mother Nature says, "He was off-key. Now nature is back in harmony." Dogbert says, "Ha! You're smiling! I knew it. You enjoy being mean!" Dogbert walks down the sidewalk looking disheveled. Clouds of smoke rise from his fur. Dogbert says, "Yet another example where keen perception doesn't pay off."
Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #hire, #consultant, #cognitive, #dissonance, #employee, #morale, #absurd, #situation, #work, #minds, #comfortable, #illusion, #strange, #dead end, #job, #love, #mediocre, #freely
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my special process of cognitive dissonance to improve employee morale." The Boss asks, "How does it work?" Dogbert explains, "When people are in an absurd situation, their minds rationalize it by inventing a comfortable illusion." The Boss says, "Okay, go do it." Dogbert asks an employee, "Isn't it strange that you have this dead end job when you're twice as smart as your boss?" Dogbert continues, "The hours are long, the pay is mediocre, nobody respects your contributions, and yet you freely choose to work here." The man looks upset. The man says, "It's absurd! No, wait . . . There must be a reason . . . I must work here because I LOVE the work." The man sits at his desk humming and thinking, "I love this job." Dogbert says, "Next!"
The Boss approaches Carol's desk and asks, "Have you finished my billion dollar business plan yet?" Carol answers, "Almost." Carol continues, "I'm up to the part where the S.E.C. investigates you for securities fraud." Carol says to the Boss, "I can't decide what the employees will be singing when you get handcuffed."
The caption says, "A friend is somebody who will not think less of you for singing the 'ooh-ooh!' part of a song on the radio." Dilbert and Dogbert ride in the car listening to the radio. Dilbert sings, "Oooh-oooh!!" The caption says, "Of course, friends will also feel free to express their musical opinions." Dilbert lies in a ditch as the car speeds off.
The panel says, "The difference between men and women. (Well, one of them.)" Dilbert and a woman look out the window. The woman says, "It's raining!! Let's go frolic in the rain!!" Dilbert thinks, "Frolic?" Dilbert stands in the rain wearing a raincoat and hood. The woman dances in the puddles without a coat or shoes. Dilbert thinks, "This'd better have a huge payoff."