Search Results for "frightened idiot"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 138

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1997's comic on:

Tags #work smarter, #not harder, #pay more work less, #frightened idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks, "My old slogan was, 'Work smarter not harder.'" The Boss thinks, "But people kept leaving for companies that pay more for less work." The Boss stands behind Alice and says, "Work like a frightened idiot!" Alice says, "Catchy."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2011's comic on:

Tags #happiness, #ignorance (knowledge), #idiot, #health benefits, #social stigma, #healthy, #transition, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #embarrassment, #frustration, #like an idiot, #simple solution, #stumping dilbert, #gladly explin, #look like an idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "There is a very simple solution to the problem that is stumping Dilbert." Man says, "I will gladly explain it to him after this meeting." Dilbert says, "You're probably wrong, and yet you still made me look like an idiot." Man says, "I win!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #servers down, #holdup, #iterated by idiot, #guard door, #don't see guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2011's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #office workers, #focus areas, #sense of humor, #dumb enogh, #misunderstood man, #angry idiot, #selling it

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #mugged, #police, #artist, #expression, #frightened

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a counter talking to a police officer. Dilbert, who has a bump on his head, says, "I was mugged, but I got a good look at him." The officer says, "I'll get a police artist." Dilbert and the police artist sit at a table. The artist sketches as Dilbert says, ". . . A big head, and kind of a frightened expression . . ." Dilbert looks at the drawing and says, "Perfect. Looks just like me. Now let's do the mugger. He was sort of off to the left here."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #five, #letter, #Word, #idiot, #five-letter, #will, #Crossword, #puzzle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table doing a crossword puzzle. Dilbert says, "What's a five-letter word beginning with 'I' . . ." Dilbert continues, "That means 'an idiot who doesn't know a five-letter word for idiot that starts with "I"?'" Dogbert replies, "Idiot." Dilbert asks, "Will that fit?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1994's comic on:

Tags #talking, #glowing terms, #flaming idiot, #dynamite

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Shhh." Wally: "We were just talking about you, sir...in glowing terms." Dilbert: "He's a flaming idiot." Wally: "One stick of dynamite - it's al I ask."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1995's comic on:

Tags #succeed, #competitors, #salary increases, #external competition, #idiot boy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We'll succeed if we understand who our competitors really are!" Wally says, "My competition is Dilbert and Alice, with whom I compete for salary increases and rare promotion opportunities." The Boss says, "I meant our external competition." Wally says, "Tell me again what we make." Dilbert whispers to Wally, "No raise for you, idiot boy."