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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2012's comic on:

Tags #universities & colleges, #cost analysis, #data centers, #good investment, #college, #education

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Boss: Do a cost analysis for consolidating our data centers. No matter what the data says, make sure your conclusion is that it's a good investment. Dilbert: Remind me why I went to college. Boss: Some liar probably convinced you it was a good investment.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2002's comic on:

Tags #trip cancelled, #travel budget, #contact centers, #training, #ignorance

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As Dilbert is walking out of the office, The Boss says to him, "Your trip is canceled." The Boss continues, "We used up the travel budget renaming our call centers to 'contact centers.'" Dilbert responds, "But I need this training." The Boss replies, "Isn't that another way of saying you're ignorant?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2004's comic on:

Tags #elbonia, #call center, #moved call centers, #anyone will notice, #disguised location

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The Boss: "We've moved our call centers to Elbonia but we don't think anyone will notice." Elbonia: "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Kruphnehdahpheweundikaniswalyniaphorganopop." "I mean...Carl."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2008's comic on:

Tags #agreement, #areas of expertise, #business units, #confusion, #consolidate shared services, #diagnostic review, #evil director, #from centers, #invoice, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources." man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review." man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise." man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement." man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?" man says, "Which answer gets us hired?" Catbert says, "Try yes." Man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

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Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

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