Fully Conscious Comic Strips
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28 Results for Fully Conscious
View 1 - 10 results for fully conscious comic strips. Discover the best "Fully Conscious" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 19,
2002
Tags #consciousness, #ability to predict, #results of actions, #fully conscious, #array of sensors, #collect data
Transcript
Dilbert is walking with a woman. He says, "My theory is that consciousness is the ability to predict and then observe the results of actions." Dilbert continues, "So I think you could build a computer that would be fully conscious." The woman falls asleep. Dilbert carries the woman over his shoulder. He continues, "Obviously you'd need an array of sensors to collect the data."
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Thursday February 01,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #research, #exempt, #human, #laws, #crime, #owner, #held, #fully, #responsible, #selfish
Transcript
Dilbert stands in the kitchen making a sandwich. Dogbert says, "According to my research, dogs are exempt from human laws." Dogbert continues, "The great part is that I can commit any crime and my owner will be held fully responsible." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping you won't take a selfish view about this."
Saturday August 26,
1995
Tags #self conscious, #tiny brain, #war wax, #bob the donisoaur
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I feel self-conscious because my brain is so tiny." Bob continues, "Here, let me reach in my ear and pull it out." Dogbert looks at what Bob is holding in his hand and says, "I think that's ear wax, Bob." Bob replies, "Maybe. But I'm putting it back just in case."
Saturday September 14,
1996
Tags #dying comapny, #fully understand, #stock rose, #boneheaded, #competitive edge
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert and Wally, "In today's news, our company has decided to buy another dying company in a business we don't fully understand." The Boss continues, "Our stock rose five points on the announcement." Wally asks Dilbert, "Why does our stock go up every time we do something boneheaded?" Dilbert replies, "I like to think of it as our competitive advantage."
Sunday September 13,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #chips, #hear, #latest, #brain, #research, #proven, #stimulation, #conscious, #absurd, #rationalizations, #random, #interaction, #arguably, #control
Transcript
Ratbert sits on the hassock eating potato chips. Dogbert says, "Hi, Ratbert, may I have some chips?" Ratbert answers, "No, sorry. There are only enough for one." Dogbert asks, "Did you hear about the latest brain research?" Dogbert says, "Science has proven that the part of the brain responsible for conscious thought doesn't show any stimulation until AFTER you act." Dogbert continues, "That means you never make conscious decisions; all you do is rationalize what you've done after the fact." Dogbert continues, "Your life is nothing but a series of absurd rationalizations for the random interaction of chemicals in your brain." Ratbert starts blinking. Ratbert falls over, drops the bag of chips and screams, "Aaagh!!! My life is absurd!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock eating the chips. He says, "That was mean, but aruguably I couldn't control myself."
Sunday July 27,
1997
Tags #albert einstein, #marketing, #idea, #never work, #don't fully understand, #albert, #quite an ego, #experienced managers, #work smarter, #not harder, #business
Transcript
What if...Albert Einstien had been in marketing? Dogbert stands excited. Albert Einstien hands a piece of paper to The Boss who sits behind his desk. Einstien says, "I have a great idea for increasing sales." The Boss reads report. The Boss says, "Nope. This will never work." Einstien asks, "Um...is it possible that you don't fully understand the idea?" The Boss says, "That's quite an ego you have there, Allan." Einstein frowns. Einstein says, "Albert." The Boss walks Einstien out of his office. The Boss says, "Experienced managers know how to identify bad ideas...." The Boss says, "Bad ideas come from other people. Now go work smarter, not harder." Einstien walks away. The Boss thinks, "I worry that a guy like that will go off and build a huge bomb."
Tuesday November 04,
2003
Tags #level conscious, #vide presidents offcie, #secretary, #make direct eye contact, #meeting, #boss, #new hire, #business
Transcript
"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."
Tuesday February 17,
2004
Tags #pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, #fully funded, #amzing, #free from bureaucracy, #bean bag charis
Transcript
DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."
Saturday April 12,
2008
Tags #matt the temp, #fully embrace, #Catbert, #temp concept, #temp, #find down cable
Transcript
Matt the temp The boss: Our parking lot flooded after the big storm. I need you to wade out there and find our downed power cables." He seems to fully embrace the temp concept. Fzeet!
Saturday June 01,
2013
Tags #earring, #headphones, #interviews, #self comscious, #snobbishness, #startup culture, #self conscious, #hipster, #earing
Transcript
Interview at a start-up Interviewer: We only hire people who fit into our awesome start-up culture. Dilbert: No problem. I can be a self-conscious hipster if you think that's what keeps the lights on. Interviewer: I kind of do. Dilbert: What would I need besides an earring and headphones?