Future Development Comic Strips
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151 Results for Future Development
View 1 - 10 results for future development comic strips. Discover the best "Future Development" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 04,
2004
Tags #software faults, #ship date, #future development, #coulumn, #what to call stuff, #figuring
Transcript
Dilbert: We still have too many software faults. We'll miss our ship date. The boss: "Move the list of faults to the 'future development' column and ship it." "90% of this job is figuring out what to call stuff."
Saturday June 07,
2003
Tags #new product revenue, #future, #slashed bidget, #development budget, #describe future, #doomed
Transcript
The addresses a meeting, "The future of the company depends on new product revenue." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Is that why you slashed the research and development budget?" The Boss replies, "If you're so smart, let's see you describe our future without using the word 'doomed.'"
Wednesday April 20,
2011
Tags #time travel, #elbonia, #time, #70 years future, #great grandson, #set thing, #won't work out, #cave, #pool, #monster, #gun
Transcript
Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.
Tuesday February 22,
2011
Tags #lawyers & attorneys, #legal advice, #chain reaction, #future visionary leader not being born, #maintenance agreement, #stabbing gandhi
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."
Friday October 28,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #illness, #industrial sludge, #drank, #has tail, #lower iq points, #bright future, #quality assurance, #marketing, #zip line guide, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.
Friday February 03,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #debt, #future generations, #power to lazy, #bathroom mirror
Transcript
Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.
Wednesday March 14,
2012
Tags #new product development, #stock buy back, #stock market, #dream, #using capitol, #money
Transcript
CEO: I'm canceling all of our new product development and using the capital for a stock buy-back. Dilbert: This is a dream come true because I always wanted to be like you. CEO: In what way are you... Dilbert: Yay! I'm worthless!
Thursday June 28,
2012
Tags #fee, #how the future works, #portfolio, #retirement planning, #understanding future
Transcript
Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: My fee is 10% of your portfolio per year. Employee: Sounds reasonable. Dogbert: None of my clients understand how the future works.
Wednesday July 22,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #future, #internet & world wide web, #math, #news, #news reporter, #supercomputer, #nut mines, #conquer
Transcript
A newsreporter wearing a trenchcoat says into a microphone, "This man used his supercomputer to predict the future of the world." The reporter holds the microphone out and Dilbert says, "Within five years, evil squirrels will conquer the world and make us all slaves in their nut mines." The reporter says, "The squirrels should love this guy." Dilbert adds, "It's based on actual math."
Monday April 19,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #school, #Kids, #career, #engineer, #plum, #assignment, #role model, #giggle, #children, #future
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "The local school wants somebody to talk to the kids about a career as an engineer." The Boss giggles as he says, "I'm giving this plum assignment to you because you're such a good role model." Dilbert says, "It's more sincere sounding when you don't giggle." The Boss says, "Remember, children are our future!"