Search Results for "gain experience"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #document marked proprietary, #find anyone, #gain experience, #logical questions, #insubordination

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Asok the Intern says to the Boss, "I have a question about this document marked 'proprietary'." Asok holds a piece of paper and says, "If I spent my whole life searching, do you think I could find anyone who would care about this?" Asok, Dilbert, and Alice are sitting at the lunch table in the cafeteria. Asok looks angry and has his arms folded across his chest. Dilbert explains, "As you gain experience, you'll realize that all logical questions are considered insubordination."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new co - op employee, #no pay, #free, #gain experience, #pig project, #paper towel guy, #spills cofee, #throw body, #fire in the hole, #tea, #body throw

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The Boss, a man, Alice, Wally, and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss points to the man and says, "I'd like you all to meet our new co-op employee." The Boss says, "We don't pay him. He works for free to gain valuable job experience." The Boss says to the man, "I'm putting you in charge of the PTG project!" The man says, "Wow! What is it?!!" Alice replies, "PTG stands for 'Paper Towel Guy.'" Alice explains, "If somebody spills coffee it's your job to throw your body on it before it reaches one of us." Alice spills a cup on the table and says, "Oops." The man flies through the air, yelling, "Fire in the hole!!!" The man lies on top of the spill. He asks, "How'd I do?" Alice says, Not so good, kid. That was tea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #assignments, #gain experince, #mouse pad inventory, #status

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Dilbert says to Asok, "As an intern, your assignments won't be as glamorous as mine, but you'll gain experience." The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I need a status report on the mouse pad inventory." Dilbert says to Asok, "See? My assignment has the word 'status' built right in." Asok looks worried and thinks, "Danger! Alert!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #graduate, #school, #hard, #knocks, #gain, #wisdom, #obtained, #suffering, #course, #whacking, #objects, #rationalize, #experience, #dedicated, #teacher, #stick, #basics

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Dilbert stands in front of a room of people. He says, "Welcome to Dogbert's 'School of Hard Knocks.'" Dogbert says, "This is the school you've heard so much about." Dogbert continues, "Chances are, one of your parents is a graduate of this school." Dogbert continues, "At Dogbert's School of Hard Knocks, you will gain the wisdom that can only be obtained through suffering." Dogbert opens a box and continues, "Throughout the course, I'll be whacking you with various blunt objects." Dogbert continues, "It may be unpleasant at first, but you'll get used to it." Dogbert continues, "Eventually, your brain will rationalize the whole experience. You'll think I'm a dedicated teacher, and you'll actually believe you learned something." Dogbert shakes a stick and says, "Stick with the basics, I say."

Tons Of Experience

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Tons Of Experience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #employment, #interviews, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #experience

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Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #prejudiced, #curiosity, #insulted, #experience

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert asks, "Is it possible that you're prejudiced against rats because you once had a bad experience with a rat?" Dilbert asks, "Just out of curiosity, what would be a GOOD experience with a rat?" Ratbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I believe I've been insulted!" Dilbert says, "That was kind of a good experience."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sensory, #deprivation, #chamber, #experience, #mental, #stimulation, #paid

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Dilbert thinks, "I prepare to enter the sensory deprivation chamber." Dilbert thinks, "I will experience no mental or physical stimulation for hours." Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "All that and I get paid too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #hideous, #shopping, #experience, #pants, #Card, #reported, #stolen, #strangled, #minutes, #aisle, #six, #floor, #chalk, #outline

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Dilbert stands in line at a cash register thinking, "It was another hideous shopping experience, but I found exactly the pants I want." The clerk says to the man in front of Dilbert, "I'm sorry . . ." The salesclerk says, "This card was reported stolen. The real owner was strangled with his own pants just minutes ago on aisle six . . ." Dilbert looks at the pants he is holding and thinks, "That would explain why these were on the floor by the chalk outline."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #invite yourself, #meeting, #split donut, #ratbert at meeting, #no experience in marketing, #advised, #business

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Ratbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I didn't get the job in marketing. They say I have no experience." Dogbert responds, "Try inviting yourself to meetings. Nobody ever says no, and they're too timid to kick you out once you sit down." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert stands on the table next to a box of donuts and says, "Does anybody want to split a donut? I'll just take half and leave the rest."