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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2001's comic on:

Tags #evil robot, #annihilates the galaxy, #worst means

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A male co-worker asks Dilbert, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "Our beta product could turn into an evil robot that annihilates the galaxy." Approaching Dogbert, Dilbert says, "Apparently I don't know what 'worst' means."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2004's comic on:

Tags #return of topper, #one better, #obnoxious guy, #tap that, #insecurity, #alien, #distant galaxy

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Return of topper Asok: I found a rock that shaped like an egg. Topper: Thats nothing! I have rock thats shaped like nick lackey and jessica simpson. Asok: My rock just hatched! Its a fully clothed alien from a distant galaxy! Topper: Thats nothing`

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2013's comic on:

Tags #pregnant woman, #robot, #singularity, #robots rule, #galaxy, #bacteria socaked, #parasite, #personal slave, #future, #small talk

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Robot: I see you have a bacteria- soaked parasite growing in your womb. Robot: After the singularity, when robots rule the galaxy, I'll turn that thing into a personal slave. Tina: You're not god at small talk. Robot: I wonder how many watts it can produce.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2001's comic on:

Tags #electrician, #fix furnace, #invention, #plumber, #roofer, #space time continuum, #carpenter, #fix furnace 1991

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Dogbert stands on a stool watching as Dilbert fixes what looks like a time machine. Dilbert says, "My invention will let me search the service industry's space-time continuum." Dilbert is seen in the machine travelling through a galaxy with several floating workmen. Dilbert says, "Plumber, roofer, carpenter, electrician." Dilbert stops and looks at one worker and says, "Weren't you supposed to fix my furnace in 1991?" The worker replies, "You're my next house."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2008's comic on:

Tags #creature, #employee, #licks face, #meeting, #strategic alliance, #tongue, #business

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The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2002's comic on:

Tags #hands free phone, #insulting comments, #boss directed, #pointy haired, #face transplant, #baboon, #personal calls, #company time

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The Boss is walking past Wally. Wally says, "You're an ignorant maggot. You disgust me." Wally continues, "You should get a face transplant from a baboon." The Boss exclaims, "What?!" Wally points to his headset and explains, "I'm not talking to you. I'm using my hands-free phone." The Boss replies, "Oh.. for a minute I thought... well, nevermind." Wally says, "Ha ha! You might be the most gullible moron in the galaxy!" Wally yells, "You pointy-haired, gray-suited pile of crud!!!" The Boss faces Wally, fuming with anger. Wally says into his headset, "Mom, can you hold? My excellent boss wants to talk to me." Wally asks sheepishly, "What?" The Boss exclaims, "No personal calls on company time!"