Generate Revenue Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

49 Results for Generate Revenue

View 1 - 10 results for generate revenue comic strips. Discover the best "Generate Revenue" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2004's comic on:

Tags #least popular feature, #generate revenue, #save money, #steal idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I recommend that we eliminate the least popular features because they cost us more than they generate in revenue. The Boss: I have an idea. Lets laminate the least popular features to save money. Dilbert: I suggest that we eliminate the least popular features . The Boss: I steal that idea to infinity.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1996's comic on:

Tags #trade hsow, #Dogbert, #design, #deluxe booth, #more revenue

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "If you plan to have a booth at the trade show, you need the 'Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company' to design it." Dogbert continues, "I recommend the deluxe booth. It's guaranteed to generate the most revenue." Alice asks, "How would the deluxe booth generate more revenue for my company?" Dogbert says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOUR company?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2011's comic on:

Tags #computer software, #internet & world wide web, #coding, #paywall, #website, #wrote script, #new content, #idea to eliminate, #revenue, #lowered costs, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2011's comic on:

Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #fracking, #competitors, #headquarters, #pollute water, #generate earthquakes, #fracking awesome

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going to start fracking under our biggest competitors headquarters. My plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes to destroy their campus. The project code name is "fracking awesome." Dilbert: Catchy.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2012's comic on:

Tags #absurd, #assumptions, #forecast, #meetings, #revenue forecst

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: And my revenue forecast says... Dilbert: Did you make any assumptions? Coworker: I made a lot of them. Dilbert: Then we don't believe your forecast. Coworker: Can I tell you about it anyway? Dilbert: Do whatever makes you feel less absurd.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #empowered, #decisions, #cubicle, #revenue, #generating, #tourist, #attraction, #business, #sticky note, #city

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Wally, "Have you made any decisions since the Boss made us all 'empowered?'" Wally replies, "Just one." Wally says, "I turned my cubicle into a revenue generating tourist attraction." Wally continues, "So far, business has been slow at 'Sticky-Note City.'" A building made of Post-it Notes stands next to Wally's cubicle.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1992's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #performance, #worthless, #generate, #license

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Tell me what you've accomplished this year so I can write your performance appraisal." Dilbert answers, "The inventions I made last year - that you thought were worthless, will generate twelve million in license fees next year!" The Boss asks, "So, no real accomplishments THIS year?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1995's comic on:

Tags #contribution to revenue, #project would fail, #attributed, #same project, #equally valuable

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and another worker sit at a conference table. The Boss holds a document and says, "You should all follow Wally's example of how he quantifies his contribution to revenue." Wally explains, "Basically, I assumed my project would fail without me. Therefore all the revenue it generates can be attributed to me." The other worker asks, "Aren't we all on the same project?" Wally answers, "Yes, but evidently we're not all equally valuable."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1995's comic on:

Tags #bad news 1985, #replacing doctor, #registered nurse, #fired nurse, #aspirin, #vending machine, #vending machine revenue

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Bad news in 1985." Dilbert, the Boss and another man sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're replacing the company doctor with a registered nurse." The caption says, "Bad news in 1990." The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We fired the nurse and put the aspirin and tourniquets in the vending machine." The caption says, "Bad news in 1995." The Boss holds a mallet behind his back as he says to Dilbert and Wally, "We've been asked to increase vending machine revenue by fifteen percent."