Generic Advice Comic Strips
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201 Results for Generic Advice
View 1 - 10 results for generic advice comic strips. Discover the best "Generic Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 08,
2010
Tags #coworker, #request, #people, #project, #generic advice, #sitting at desk, #tail wagging, #hate, #angry, #replace, #inspire
Transcript
Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."
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Thursday February 26,
2015
Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice
Tags #Advice, #experience, #stock market, #lost savings, #past perfromance, #further returns, #money
Transcript
Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.
Wednesday July 15,
2015
Advice
Tags #ego, #talking, #conversation, #Advice, #insult, #insulting, #suggestion
Transcript
Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.
Thursday July 16,
2015
Advice Capture Device
Tags #deception, #trick, #invention, #Advice, #silence, #gullible, #guile
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented headphones that will record all of your advice as you dispense it. This way it will be preserved for future generations. Wally: He thinks we can hear him? Dilbert: He also thinks it is recording.
Wednesday July 29,
2015
What Advice Is
Tags #help, #gratitude, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #misanthropy, #Advice
Transcript
Coworker: Want some advice? Dilbert: Why? Can your ignorance and poor communication skills solve my uncertainty? Coworker: You never know until you try. Dilbert: Sometimes you know!
Tuesday June 12,
2018
Asking Successful People For Advice
Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition
Transcript
Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?
Saturday June 16,
2018
Reincarnation Advice
Tags #Advice, #motivation, #reincarnation, #death, #fussiness, #medical
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert's Life Advice. Dogbert: I've reviewed your file. Your best bet is to live an unhealthy lifestyle, die young, and hope reincarnation is real. Man: Is it real? Dogbert: All I know for sure is that dead people are less fuss than you.
Friday August 30,
2019
No One Is Taking Advice
Tags #Advice, #confidence, #employees, #jobs, #office workers, #youth
Transcript
Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.
Wednesday August 12,
2020
Helpful Advice
Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #Advice, #personal, #life, #quality, #work
Transcript
co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.
Tuesday February 22,
2011
Tags #lawyers & attorneys, #legal advice, #chain reaction, #future visionary leader not being born, #maintenance agreement, #stabbing gandhi
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."