Genetic Reason Comic Strips

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151 Results for Genetic Reason

View 1 - 10 results for genetic reason comic strips. Discover the best "Genetic Reason" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #discriminating, #genetic reason, #idiot, #intolerance, #turned down for raise, #maximum raise, #learning problem, #desparation, #money

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The Boss: Alice, I can't give you the maximum raise because you don't respect other people's differences. Alice says, Why are you discriminating against me for my intolerance? If I am intolerant for some genetic reason, then I can't help it. Alice says, "And if I'm intolerant because I can't learn to be otherwise, then obviously I have a learning problem. Alice says, "Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to notice it? You need to start appreciating me for my intolerance! Alice says, And while I'm at it, allow my to mention that a monkeys seat cushion has better views than what I'm looking at right now. The Boss says, "I'm not quite sure where to go with this." Alice says, "Ooh! Oooh! I have a suggestion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #service business, #unmotivated sales guy, #slides are blank, #compelling reason, #no commission work, #budget issues

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Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #chihuahuas, #reason, #lesson, #evil, #Dogbert

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Dogbert sees Ratbert lying on the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "Ratbert! What happened to you?" Ratbert sits up and replies, "My Chihuahua disguise worked. I've been taunted and chased all day by bigots who hate Chihuahuas for no reason." Ratbert says, "There's an important lesson in this." Dogbert asks, "What? Chihuahuas are evil?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #genetic, #ghandi, #wisdom, #strength, #chamberlain, #babes, #chair

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Dogbert stands at a lab table and says, "I'll use Dilbert's genetic lab to make a man with the wisdom of Ghandi and the strength of Wilt Chamberlain." Dogbert thinks, "Or vice versa." A man wearing an Indian pancha says to Dilbert, "Gimme your car keys. I'm gonna find us some babes." Dilbert replies, "Not in MY sheet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #vegetarian, #dead, #animals, #cook, #carcinogenic, #eat, #nutritious, #question, #reason, #cult

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I don't understand why you, or anybody, would become a vegetarian." Dogbert replies, "You mean, why don't I take dead animals, cook them until they become carcinogenic, then eat them instead of something nutritious? Is that your question?" Dilbert answers, "Exactly. Is there any good reason? Have you joined a cult?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #continue, #leader, #nerds, #genetic, #predisposition, #emergency, #pocket, #computer, #class

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair working on the computer. Ratbert asks, "Aren't you afraid that if you continue as leader of the nerds, you will become a nerd yourself?" Dogbert answers, "No, because you can't become a nerd unless you have a genetic predisposition toward it." Dilbert enters the room and says, "Look! I added an emergency backup pocket!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "See? You can't learn that stuff in computer class."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #genetic research, #clone, #obedient slaves, #conquer, #world dominion, #living things, #work on giant cucumbers, #arms and legs

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Genetic research Dogbert: Id like you to clone an army of obedient slaves for me, I plan to conquer the world and have dominion over all living things. scientist: I mostly work on giant cucumbers. Dogbert: Mix in some arms and legs and give me two packages of seeds.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boot camp, #conquer the earth, #genetic mutations, #half man, #sea monkeys, #half cucumber

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"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dna smaple, #fatal genetic problems, #hurt productivity, #project dealine

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The Boss holds a syringe. He says to Dilbert, "Drop your trousers and turn around. I need a DNA sample." Dilbert bends over looking angry. As draws Dilbert's blood, the Boss says, "We're scanning for any fatal genetic problems that could hurt productivity." Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding the test results and says, "Uh . . . we decided to move your project deadline up a week." Dilbert's hair stands up straight.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consulting comapny, #lead project, #bright enough, #bad attitudes, #no apparent reason, #introduce ourselves, #chummy with locals

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The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' to lead the project because none of you is bright enough." Dilbert looks angry. The Boss continues, "And you all have bad attitudes for no apparent reason; that's no way to be a leader." Wally asks, "Shall we go around the table and introduce ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "I don't get chummy with the locals."