Ghost Personal Page Comic Strips
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227 Results for Ghost Personal Page
View 1 - 10 results for ghost personal page comic strips. Discover the best "Ghost Personal Page" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 12,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #fraternization, #friends with ghots, #ghandi, #ghost personal page, #ghosts, #heaven, #internet & world wide web, #llincoln, #satellite pictures, #social media, #social network, #technology
Transcript
Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday March 28,
2000
Tags #cd rom business ard, #browsed personal oage, #conversation
Transcript
A woman tells Dilbert over dinner: "I reviewed your CD-ROM business card last night." Dilbert says: "I browsed your personal web page." Dilbert suggests: "Maybe we should do some conversation." She replies: "I already had one in my head."
Friday March 13,
2020
Personal Health Data
Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease
Transcript
dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.
Saturday June 04,
2011
Tags #writing, #writing systems, #press relese, #vp of engineering, #personal resons, #speculate, #bieber fever, #write fiction
Transcript
Boss: Tina, all I wanted you to say in the press release is that our VP of engineering is leaving for personal reasons. You didn't need to speculate on the reasons. Let's lost the part about "Bieber Fever." Tina: Everyone thinks it's easy to write fiction.
Sunday July 10,
2011
Tags #anger, #quarreling, #mastered art, #being useless, #next level, #toxic, #toxic people, #complain, #personal problems
Transcript
Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.
Tuesday July 19,
2011
Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.
Sunday November 06,
2011
Tags #interviews, #suspicion, #job interview, #brand online, #blog, #tweets, #facebook, #credit, #criminal record, #transcripts, #refrences, #external stuff, #attitude, #yrine test, #dna test, #tanning bed, #mri, #psychology
Transcript
Job interview Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.
Thursday March 29,
2012
Tags #page layout, #ugly, #ugly cubicle, #aesthetics, #barber, #parents, #trample
Transcript
Dilbert: Your page layout is ugly. Tina: Whose fault is that? I work in an ugly cubicle surrounded by ugly people. You trample on my sense of aesthetics and expect me to be unaffected? Dilbert: So... it's my fault? Tina: You, your parents, your barber, and whoever dresses you.
Sunday April 22,
2012
Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.
Thursday May 03,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #free app, #stealing personal info, #lodge complaint, #monthly subscription, #package, #history of contaxcts, #sells itself
Transcript
Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.