Gibberish Comic Strips
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9 Results for Gibberish
View 1 - 9 results for gibberish comic strips. Discover the best "Gibberish" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 12,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #supervise, #department, #secretary, #gibberish
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday June 13,
1996
Tags #artificial urgency, #gibberish, #god news, #mission, #objectives uncler, #insane but happy
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "Our objectives are unclear and our mission statement is gibberish . . ." Wally continues, "But thanks to an artificial sense of urgency, I'm working harder than ever!" The Boss asks, "What's the good news you said you have?" Wally answers, "Apparently I'm insane. But I'm one of the happy kinds!"
Friday October 22,
2004
Tags #great 3 hour meeting, #strategic core issues, #gibberish
Transcript
It's been a great three-hour meeting but I have one question. Can a business - led project management process optimize our static core issues? Was that gibberish? I thought thats what we are doing.
Thursday August 28,
2008
Tags #company lawyer, #simple agreement, #impenetrable gibberish, #sour taste, #choke my suspenders, #exercise, #eat right, #finish, #health
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "Can you turn a simple agreement into impenetrable gibberish?" The lawyer says, "Absolutely. I can also leave a sour taste in everyone's mouth and make you want to choke me with my suspenders." The lawyer says, "If you exercise and eat right, you might still be alive when I finish it." Dilbert says, "Good enough."
Friday December 12,
2014
Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed
Tags #work ethic, #analysis, #work, #gibberish, #separate issue, #secretary, #offcie, #cubicle, #science
Transcript
Wally: Here's the analysis you asked me to do. Coworker: Oops. I forgot to tell you, I don't need this anymore. Wally: What? I did all of that work for nothing? Coworker: Wait... this is nothing but... gibberish. Wally: That is a separate issue.
Tuesday January 31,
2017
Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish
Sunday May 02,
2004
Tags #stock investing, #valuable data, #project on schedule, #refines data, #ceo, #accountants, #nanotaechnology, #discount brokerage, #investors, #secret society, #donald trumps
Transcript
dogcart explains stock investing Dogbert: pay attention. First, employees provide data. Th boss: is your project on schedule? Wally: I didn't know I had a project. A Manager refines the data. The boss: we're on schedule. The CEO gives visibility to analysts. CEO: no problems whatsoever. Accountants publish bad news in footage notes using a combination of nanotechnology and gibberish. Accountant: still too obvious. -Discount brokerage firms tell you that you're smart- Use you own ideas! Investors do their own research Buy it because I did. Thank you unbiased stranger! A secret society of Donald Trump look alike end up with all your money trumps: you're fired. you are!
Friday August 19,
2016
Boss Freestyles With Jargon
Tags #language, #jargon, #managers, #leadership, #nonsense, #gibberish
Transcript
Boss: I forgot to make an agenda for this meeting, so I'll just freestyle it with jargon. Let's do a deep dive in the big data and drill down until we hyperlocalize some disruptive technologies. That's enough leadership. Now the rest of you need something to do.
Sunday October 29,
2017
Tags #contract, #legalese, #language, #comprehension
Transcript
Boss: Review this contract and tell me if it looks right. Dilbert: It's legal gibberish. I don't understand a word of it. Boss: So... you see no problems? Dilbert: Only a lawyer could understand it. Boss: But otherwise it's okay? Dilbert: My inability to identify a problem is not proof of no problems. Boss: Then how do you know when all of your problems have been fixed? I'll just sign it and see what happens.