Gift Shop Comic Strips
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54 Results for Gift Shop
View 1 - 10 results for gift shop comic strips. Discover the best "Gift Shop" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 16,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #museum, #tazmanian, #woogat, #silk, #cheap, #polyester, #shirts, #wear, #gift, #shop
Transcript
Dogbert leads a man and a woman through the museum. Dogbert says, "'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing' is the only place you can find . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . A shirt woven entirely from a single thread of Tazmanian woogat silk." The man says, "It looks like the cheap polyester shirts that I wear." Dogbert says, "In that case, this is the gift shop."
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Wednesday May 09,
2001
Tags #wally in jail, #impersonating, #dead person, #street smarts, #survive, #temporary tattoos, #gift shop
Transcript
Alice enters Dilbert's cubicle and announces, "Wally's in jail for impersonating a dead person." Alice, sipping her coffee, continues, "He'll have to use all of his street smarts to survive." Wally is seen in jail sitting next to a large man with tattoos, lifting weights. Wally grips his briefcase to himself and says, "I'll need some temporary tattoos. Which way is the gift shop?"
Monday December 26,
2011
Tags #christmas presents, #sweaters, #ugly sweater, #lose a bet, #gift from mom, #hideous sweater
Transcript
Alice: What's up with the ugly sweater? Did you lose a bet? Dilbert: This? Oh, right. It was a gift from my mom. I'm wearing it once in case she asks me later. Alice: Did you know it was hideous before I told you? Dilbert: Maybe.
Sunday March 18,
2012
Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.
Wednesday September 05,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #mineral, #water, #spa, #atlantis, #donut, #shop, #customer, #cash
Transcript
Dogbert sits behind a cash register and says to a customer, "Welcome to Dogbert's New Age Mineral Water Spa . . . Hand over the cash." Dogbert says, "Hold it . . . The vibes from my crystal tell me we knew each other in a previous life . . . In ATLANTIS!" A man says, "That's what you told the last guy, too." Dogbert replies, "Atlantis was a small town. I ran the only donut shop."
Thursday October 11,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #aunt, #helen, #elbow warmer, #gift, #lowest, #creature, #dog, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert reads a letter that says, "Dear Dilbert, I hope you like this elbow warmer I knitted for you. Love, Aunt Helen." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's an elbow warmer; just a thoughtful little gift from me to you." Dogbert says, "I feel like the lowest creature in the gift chain."
Thursday November 22,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #ham, #cured, #butcher, #gift, #share
Transcript
Dogbert asks a butcher, "Do you have cured ham?" The butcher says, "Right here." Dogbert says, "Boy, if that's cured, what does a sick one look like?!" Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and says, "I've always felt a duty to share my gift of mirth with others."
Saturday July 07,
2012
Tags #certification in puppetry, #degree in engineering, #diploma and bait shop, #discrepancy, #resume, #ventriloquism
Transcript
Boss: One of our major investors found a discrepancy on your resume. You claim to have a degree in engineering, but in reality you have a certification in puppetry from a place called... Evelyn's Diploma and Bait Shop. CEO: The board has faith in our CEO.
Saturday March 21,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #smart, #pills, #chinese, #herbs, #news, #story, #naturally, #discovered, #gift, #item
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a paper bag and says, "I bought some 'Smart Pills' for you. They're made from Chinese herbs." Dogbert continues, "I saw a news story about these . . . And naturally I thought of you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "I've discovered the perfect gift item."
Wednesday December 23,
1992
Tags #christmas presents, #Dilbert, #Wally, #christmas, #gift, #cd player, #Card, #shallow, #gesture
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters holding an envelope and says, "I'm collecting money for a gift to a poor family this Christmas." Dilbert opens his wallet and asks, "What are you buying them?" Wally replies, "A CD player." Dilbert says, "Thank you for making this the most shallow gesture of my life." Wally says, "I'll add your name to the card."