Gives You Lemons Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

70 Results for Gives You Lemons

View 1 - 10 results for gives you lemons comic strips. Discover the best "Gives You Lemons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1994's comic on:

Tags #philosophy of life, #gives you lemons, #big pitcher, #ice, #few glasses, #no napkins?

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: "My philosophy is 'if life gives you lemons, make lemonade'." "Of course, the whole thing depends heavily on life also providing a big pitcher with ice and a few glasses." rather: "What? No napkins?!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #luck, #lemons, #lemonade, #citrus, #allergic, #swell, #die

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I have no luck." Dogbert says, "You know what they say, 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.'" Dilbert replies, "I'm allergic to citrus." Dogbert says, "You know what they say, 'If life gives you lemons, swell up and die.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2012's comic on:

Tags #illness, #plunging productivity, #8 year old boy, #traylor, #germs, #doctor, #allergies, #gives to mom, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1997's comic on:

Tags #title of book, #gives away plaot, #hemingway, #imagination, #chick magnet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dilbert is wearing a jogging suit and holds a Frisbee. He says, "I hate it when the title of a book gives away the whole plot." Dilbert throws the Frisbee. He says, "Take Hemingway's "Old Man and the Sea." Geez, talk about leaving nothing to the imagination." The Frisbee lies on the ground. Dilbert says, "I guess the odds were very low that you would leap in the air and catch that." Dogbert replies, "I'm only here to be a chick magnet."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2005's comic on:

Tags #sourpuss, #lemins, #choke and die, #lemon eater

View Transcript

Transcript

Sourpuss "When life gives you lemons..." "Choke on 'em and die." "You stupid lemon eater."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fraternization, #internet & world wide web, #friends with ghoats, #real freinds, #imaginary ones, #idea is ridiculous, #ridiculous idea, #facebook freinds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #death & dying, #estate plan, #inherit stuff, #option, #powerful incentive, #saving & investment, #wills, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #terrorists, #work ethic, #elbonian leftists, #kidnapped, #ransom demands, #three pack tube socks, #carton milk, #six yams, #making life nightmare, #gives in to kidnappers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Elbonian leftists kidnapped Asok. They have ransom demands." Carol says, "They want a three-pack of tube socks, a carton of milk, and six yams." The Boss says, "Maybe you could buy that stuff on your way home." Carol says, "You're making my life a nightmare! Just keep him!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #contracts, #relations between the sexes, #Women, #ignorantly signed, #legal strategy, #affadavit, #attractive women, #have cooties

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #joking, #questioning, #feel free, #questions, #ghosts have clothes, #wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?