Giving Free Flu Shots Comic Strips

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383 Results for Giving Free Flu Shots

View 1 - 10 results for giving free flu shots comic strips. Discover the best "Giving Free Flu Shots" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #biology, #chemistry, #practical jokers, #biotech field, #giving free flu shots, #stem cells, #science

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Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #free flu shots, #wealth stock holders, #hunt down, #shoot flu darts, #not flu prevention shits

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Catbert is standing at the entrance to Wally's cubicle. Catbert tells him, "The company is giving free flu shots, Wally." A man holding a rifle, wearing safari gear and glasses, reminiscent of Teddy Roosevelt, stands next to Catbert. Catbert continues, "The shots will be delivered by wealthy stockholders who will hunt you down and shoot you with flu darts." Wally, with the barrel of the rifle pointed in his back, asks, "At least I won't get the flu, right?" Catbert replies, "You're probably thinking of the flu prevention shots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #trump, #free stuff, #resources, #free samples, #rich people, #marketing campaign

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Dilbert: How can I create a marketing campaign if my boss doesn't give me any resources? Dogbert: "Try giving free samples to people who look like celebrities." Dilbert: "And you would be?" TRUMP: "Donald trump. Give me some free stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #marketing campiagn, #free samples, #worked, #decline, #intelligence, #conclusion, #marketing, #business

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Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses

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Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #document, #free paper, #quality of paper, #lousy regular, #silkier, #accept the things can't change

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Dogbert says into his telephone headset, "This is Dogbert's Tech Support. How may I abuse you?" The man on the other end of the line replies, "My printer prints a blank page after every document." Dogbert says, "Why would you complain about getting free paper?" The man responds, "Free? Isn't it just giving me my own paper?" Dogbert replies, "Egad, man! Look at the quality of the free paper compared to your lousy regular paper!" Dogbert continues, "Only a fool or a liar would say they look the same!" The man responds, "Now that you mention it, it does seem silkier." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm helping people accept the things they can't change."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #sales personnel, #linux, #million dollars, #pay for upgrade, #away for free

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Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.

Free Will Is An Illusion

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Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans

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Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

Dilbert Has Free Will

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Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

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Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #joking, #questioning, #feel free, #questions, #ghosts have clothes, #wedgie

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Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?