Wally and Dilbert are in the mail room. Wally says, "I have mail! I've never had mail in twelve years here." Wally continues, "It's not addressed to me but it was in my box so I'm keeping it." Dilbert asks, "No mail for twelve years?" Wally responds, "If I hold it just right it glistens."
Catbert, the evil director of HR
"Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits."
"If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money."
"Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."