Going Home Comic Strips
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918 Results for Going Home
View 1 - 10 results for going home comic strips. Discover the best "Going Home" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 23,
1997
Tags #home early, #sick kid, #family freindly, #test for drugs
Transcript
Alice peers into the Boss's office as she puts on her coat. She says, "I'm going home early because my kid is sick." Alice says, "Remember, we have a new 'Family Friendly' policy." The Boss asks, "We do?" The Boss asks, "Is that why my family seems so friendly?" Alice replies, "Maybe, but I'd test 'em for drugs."
Sunday January 25,
1998
Tags #document, #on desk, #overdue, #last minute, #going home, #boss to dilbert, #wait until tomorrow, #sociopath, #spookily accurate
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle and looks at his watch. he thinks, "Time to go home. That means..." The Boss shows up and says, "Hi there." Dilbert thinks, "Right on schedule." Dilbert holds up his hand and says, "Wait. Let me guess why you're here." Dilbert says, "You want to discuss a document that's been on your desk for a month." Dilbert says, "It's something that could easily wait until tomorrow." He says, "But you'll insist that I handle it now, because you're a sociopath." The Boss says, "Wrong. I majored in anthropology." The Boss walks away and thinks, "But that was a spookily accurate guess about the document."
Saturday July 31,
2010
Tags #lecture, #office, #philosophy, #point, #unknown, #go home early
Transcript
Dilbert says, "There's no objective standard for measuring how much I should accomplish in any given day." Dilbert says, "Nor can we really know if things would have turned out better had I don't things differently." The Boss says, "Do you have a point?" Dilbert says, "I'm going home early. See if you can tell the difference."
Sunday March 31,
1996
Tags #barry, #epic mini series, #hundreds of hours, #quitters, #retrospect, #special bonus, #staring at computer
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "It's my honor to present this special bonus check to Barry." Alice turns to the man next to her and says, "That's you." The man stares straight ahead as he replies, "MY name is Barry??" The Boss says, "This is for working hundreds of hours of overtime." The Boss continues, "While you quitters were going home by 9 pm every night . . ." The Boss continues, "Barry remained at work staring at his computer for hours." Barry eats the bonus check. The Boss continues, "It's important to recognize extra effort." The Boss continues, "Sadly, that's the end of the special bonus budget for the year." Barry burps. Wally says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have told Barry that his screen saver is an epic miniseries." Dilbert and Alice glare at him.
Friday October 05,
2007
Tags #quadrupled workload, #hom early, #battlestar galactica, #sandwhich, #envy vactionless
Transcript
Asok: I quadrupled my workload to finish projects before I go on vacation. Dilbert: "I'm going home early to watch Battlestar Galactica on my DVR." "I might eat a nice sandwich!" Asok: "Must...Not...Envy...The vacationless."
Saturday May 08,
2021
Work From Home Or Office
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #office, #work from home, #home, #quit, #shoot, #dead, #mistake, #happiness
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.
Thursday December 20,
2001
Tags #another cubicle, #office moving budget, #transfer to elbonia, #relocation budget, #budget is shot, #mail yourself home
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I want to move you to another cubicle but my office moving budget is shot." The Boss continues, "So I'm going to transfer you to Elbonia and then back so I can use the relocation budget." An Elbonian is on the phone. He relays a message to Dilbert: "He says the relocation budget is shot but you can mail yourself home."
Sunday February 10,
2013
Tags #dog, #facebook, #facebook page, #internet & world wide web, #linkedin, #stocks, #twitter, #websites, #work ethic, #working from home, #distractions, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm working at home today. It will be as if we're co-workers. Dogbert: Ugh. This madness must stop! You should check your Facebook page to see what's new. You should check Twitter. Dilbert: I'm almost finished with Facebook. Dogbert: Did you get my LinkedIn request? Dilbert: I'll check. Dogbert: I send you some links to funny websites. Dilbert: Cool! I just spent ten hours at my computer and I can't remember why I was sitting there in the first place. Dogbert: You were going to check your stocks. Dilbert: Okay. That sounds right. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later.
Monday September 30,
2019
Casserole For Pot Luck
Tags #Food, #health & safety, #office, #office workers, #casserole, #potluck, #inspection, #home, #kitchen
Transcript
tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.
Wednesday December 18,
2019
Can't Work From Home
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #power, #work from home
Transcript
dilbert: can i work from home? boss: no, because then i won't have the enjoyable sensation of wielding power over you. dilbert: everything about that sounds wrong. boss: off you go.