Golf Lessons Comic Strips
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Carol sits between the Boss and Catbert. Catbert scolds Carol, saying "BAD!" while the Boss says, "Carol, you can't keep accepting bribes from salespeople who want access to me." Carol replies, "Didn't a vendor just take you on a golf trip to Vegas?" The Boss says, "That is so-o-o!" Carol replies, "Let's compare price sheets."
Wally says, "I'm no longer content to be useless at work." Wally says, "I decided to take up golf so I can be useless on weekends too." Dilbert says, "Are you going to take lessons?" Wally says, "You get to hit the ball more if you don't."
Boss: Who wants to hear about my golf game? Alice: Maybe someone with locked-in syndrome who doesn't get any visitors. Boss: Just for that, I'm going to tell you twice. Alice: No, please. I'll do anything.
Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.
Boss: I hired a management consultant to teach us something he calls backwards causation. Dogbert: I studied the most successful companies. If you imitate them, you'll feel as if you have a strategy. Number one: sponsor a golf tournament so your CEO can meet celebrities. Boss: Profits, here we come.
Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.
Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if Dogbert is enjoying his sky diving lessons." Dogbert crashes through the ceiling and lands on the desk. Dogbert lies face-down on the desk and says, "Boy . . . No wonder they only charge six bucks."
Dilbert and Alice watch as Dogbert points to a diagram and says, "Your target market is the high income group. They're the only ones who can afford your product." Dogbert continues, "More specifically, they must be rich, tasteless and easily amused. I've located a cluster of them to study." Dogbert stands behind a bush on a golf course and watches two golfers. One golfer says, "That dog's watching us golf again."
Liz and Dilbert are seated beneath a tree reading books. She asks him, "What did you bring to read?" Dilbert responds, "It's a book of tips for my new computer golf game." Liz comments, "So . . . you're reading a book . . . about a computer simulation . . . of an activity that's ALMOST a sport . . ." Liz continues, "That's about as close as you can get to being a non-organic life form." Dilbert says, "This chapter is about driving the little cart."