Good Advice Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Good Advice

View 1 - 10 results for good advice comic strips. Discover the best "Good Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2005's comic on:

Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2002's comic on:

Tags #away from home more, #career advice, #good advice, #hearing it, #hideous commute, #longer hours, #no growth potential, #self loathing, #unhappiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "I need career advice." Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dilbert says, "Should I keep my comfortable job that has no growth potential?" Dilbert continues, "Or should I take a better job with longer hours and a hideous commute?" Dogbert answers, "The first choice is a sure path to self-loathing and unhappiness." Dogbert continues, "The second choice will squeeze the life out of you like a vise on a peach." Dogbert continues, "You really can't win. So I recommend the choice that keeps you away from home more." Dogbert continues, "Because frankly - and I'll try to say this delicately - a little bit of you goes a long way." Dogbert concludes, "That's the problem with good advice. No one wants to hear it."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1997's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #integrate, #bad technology, #idiot boss, #good etchnology, #throw away, #bad tech, #pure veil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a desk with a computer on it. Dogbert sits atop the computer. Dilbert says, "It's my job to integrate the bad technology that our idiot boss bought with the good technology we already own. Your advice?" Dogbert waves his arms in the air, "Throw away the bad technology. Goof off until the next planned upgrade of the good technology. Tell your boss the improvements are a result of his brilliant buying decision." Dilbert says, "Wow. That's almost pure evil." Dogbert says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1998's comic on:

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #excellent advice, #50k monthly, #offer bad advice, #45k month

View Transcript

Transcript

Banner reading "Dogbert the Consultant" appears across top of page. Dogbert sitting in front of The Boss. Dogbert says, "I cab give you excellent advice for $50,000 per month." Dogbert sitting in chair continues, "If budget is a problem, I also offer bad advice for the low price of $45,000 per month." Dilbert and Alice watch as The Boss runs past their cubicle with scissors in hand. Alice says, "That's not a good sign."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2000's comic on:

Tags #tom peters advice, #become own brand, #get me some

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Alice while pouring himself a cup of coffee, "I'm going to follow Tom Peters' advice and become my own brand." Alice replies, "The phrase you're least likely to hear is, 'I gotta get me some of that." Wally walks away thinking, "Day one: Not so good."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2002's comic on:

Tags #book, #choose good attitude, #six months to live, #depressed, #bad advice, #apathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stops a sad employee and says, "Hey, guy, cheer up. You can choose to have a good attitude!" The sad employee replies, "I just found out I have six months to live." The Boss smiles and hands the employee a book. The Boss says, "Maybe I'm saying it wrong. Try reading the book yourself."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2003's comic on:

Tags #processor load, #took advice, #laser pointers, #light sabers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "Our breakthrough came when we distributed the processor load." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. Asok raises his arms and exclaims, "It's about time that you took my advice! Hallelujah! Good for you!" Dilbert says, "If laser pointers were light sabers, you'd be looking for your torso." Asok responds, "Ha ha! You're using my joke! Good one!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2004's comic on:

Tags #clarification, #assignment, #jeudgement, #invite calamity, #good parts, #forever damned

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need clarification on my assignment. Dilbert: Should I use my own judgement and be forever damned if things go badly? Or should I sue your advice and invite certain calamity? the bossL both plans have good parts.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2007's comic on:

Tags #cold learning, #cruelest, #don't wear a coat, #first lesson, #good liar, #sales support engineer, #seeking advice, #how to lie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm a sales support engineer now. Can you teach me to be a good liar? Dogbert: Sure. Meet me on the porch, and don't wear a coat; the cold will help the learning. The first lesson is always the cruelest."

Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice

Thank you for voting.
Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2015's comic on:

Tags #Advice, #experience, #stock market, #lost savings, #past perfromance, #further returns, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.