Good Job Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for good job comic strips. Discover the best "Good Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money

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Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #good job, #meeting woman, #late, #sixty hour week, #stock options decline, #not impressed

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A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #managing by exception, #do good job, #project important, #name

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The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and says, "From now on I'll be managing by exception." The Boss continues, "If I don't talk to you for months, assume you're doing a good job." The Boss continues talking, saying "...Or that you're project isn't important...Or that I don't remember your name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #happiness not realted, #level of wealth, #relative wealth, #good job

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"Research has shown that happiness is not related to one's absolute level of wealth." "What matters is one's relative wealth compared to other people." "So, if I do a good job, could you cut this guy's pay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #negative, #good communicator, #terrible ideas, #be more positive, #fixed now, #good job, #leadership

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Boss: You're being too negative lately. Dilbert: Am I negative or am I a good communicator surrounded by terrible ideas. Boss: Just try to be more positive! Dilbert: Okay, I'm all fixed now. Good job on the leadership.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #two day workshop, #mission, #vision, #useless jargon, #illiterate execustives, #mind numbing, #job security, #ethical behavior, #better idea, #high marks, #class evalutaion

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A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives." The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ." The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security." The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you." Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation." The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me." The man replies, "You wish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships

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Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge

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Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #surrogate crier, #worst meeting, #frustrated, #streotype

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Alice: I'm so frustrated that I want to cry, but I refuse to fall into the stereotype. Asok, I'm making you my surrogate crier. This might hurt a little. Asok: Worst meeting ever. Dilbert: I thought you did a good job on the high notes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #wage, #benefits, #package, #disloyalty, #verbal, #abuse, #occasional, #legal, #problems, #twenty-four, #hours, #recognition, #positively, #giddy, #toaster

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Dogbert sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I'm demanding a new wage and benefits package." Dilbert says, "I already give you everything you want . . ." Dilbert continues, "And in return you give me disloyalty, verbal abuse and occasional legal problems." Dogbert says, "Okay, it's a good job, but I'm putting in twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "I think I deserve some sort of special recognition for my good work." An "Employee of the Month" poster with Dogbert's picture hangs on the refrigerator. Dogbert says, "I'm positively giddy." Dilbert says, "You edged out the toaster by two votes."