Good Relationships Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Good Relationships
View 1 - 10 results for good relationships comic strips. Discover the best "Good Relationships" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 27,
1996
Tags #school for interpersonal skills, #Dogbert, #good relationships, #huge phony, #three fundamentals, #loud, #simple, #smiley, #low pressure system, #weather
Transcript
Dogbert stands at the front of a room and says, "The secret to good relationships is to be a huge phony." Dilbert and Wally sit in the class. Dogbert clicks a remote control and says, "Let's practice the three fundamentals." A slide projection lists, "Loud, Simple, Smiley." Wally shouts, "Hey, how about that low-pressure system, huh?!!" Dogbert stands on a stool and says, "Again, but this time say 'weather.'"
Monday October 01,
2012
Tags #candy, #children, #engineers, #big companies, #good engineering, #skulk around schoolyards, #nerdy loners, #offer candy, #Family
Transcript
Boss: The big companies are hiring all of the good engineering students as soon as they graduate. We need to start earlier. I want you to skulk around school yards and try to form relationships with kids who are nerdy loners. Offer them candy. Kids love candy. Dilbert: I don't see how this plan could go wrong.
Sunday August 22,
2004
Tags #girlfriend, #two probelms, #looks, #personlaity, #extreme makeover, #fascinated by new person, #9 good tsories, #social liability, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: why can't I find a girlfriend? DOgbert: you have two problems: your looks and your personality. Dilbert: Hmm,two itsn't bad. I can fix my looks by getting and extreme makeover. Dogbert: you'll still need to improve M.T.T.S.F. Dilbert: What? Dogbert: mean time to story failure: Its a measure of ho long you can be fascinating to a new person. Dogbert: Ive been counting and you only ave nine good stories after you use them up youre a social liability. Dilbert: I saw a horse kick a woodchuck over a fence. Dogbert: still only nine.
Tuesday June 23,
2020
How To Identify Good Ideas
Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational
Transcript
dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.
Tuesday May 17,
2011
Tags #test phase, #meeting, #desk, #production phase, #being smart, #good feeling, #confident, #business
Transcript
Dilbert:you scheduled the end of the test phase after the start of the production phase. we're feeling confident. Dilbert: ist too bad that being smart doesn't come with some sort of good feeling like that.
Monday January 17,
2011
Tags #anger, #engineers, #honesty, #beginning of decline, #salted note, #good idea, #why don't we format, #social product
Transcript
The Boss says, "I have a great idea! Why don't we make our product social?" Dilbert says, "Because when you start to understand a concept, it marks the beginning of its decline." Dilbert says, "On a related note, it's never a good idea to ask an engineer a question in the 'why don't we' format."
Sunday May 15,
2011
Tags #dating, #restaurants, #filling survey, #surveys, #guilty, #date, #dinner, #restaurant, #Food, #favorite restaurant, #romance, #waiter, #pick up waiter, #ruined, #relationships
Transcript
Waiter: Would you mind filling out this customer survey so we know how we're doing? Dilbert: I don't have time to fill out surveys about everything I do. But you're making me feel guilty about not doing it. Oh no! You turned a good customer experience into something ugly. It's getting all awkward and I'm looking like a big jerk in front my date. Now I can never again eat here because I'm afraid of what you'll do to my food. You've ruined my favorite restaurant, as well as my chance of romance with this woman. Waiter: ... favorite restaurant... Woman: What are you doing later?
Thursday June 30,
2011
Tags #apps, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new smartphone, #tongue on flagpole, #victime of good marketing, #voice reception
Transcript
Carol: Check out my new smartphone! The voice receptions is a bit weak, but I can usually make a call if I keep my tongue on a flagpole. Alice: You might be a victim of good marketing. Carol: It has apps!
Thursday July 14,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #fraternization, #friendship, #new engineer, #ginat dork, #star wars chess set, #email, #set up date, #romantic preference, #relationships
Transcript
Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.
Tuesday July 19,
2011
Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.