Goods Mine Comic Strips
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77 Results for Goods Mine
View 1 - 10 results for goods mine comic strips. Discover the best "Goods Mine" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 12,
1999
Tags #new bonus plan, #peak perfromance, #bonus, #goods mine, #car won't start
Transcript
The boss, Asok, Dilbert and wally sit at a conference table. The boss says, "Introducing the new bonus plan." ASok raises his hand and says, "Yes!!! I'm already working at peak performance, so that bonus is as good as mine!" Phil appears behind asok and says, "Asok, Mr. Reality wanted to visit you, but his car won't start. I'm Phil."
Friday February 01,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #arm, #doctor, #dollars, #against, #mine, #Word, #treatment, #malpractice
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "You're healthy. That's fifty dollars." Dilbert says angrily, "You haven't even looked at my arm!" The man says, "Who's the doctor here?" Dilbert replies, "Apparently, neither of us." The man says, "Right. So it's just your word against mine."
Saturday September 14,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dance, #paycheck, #mine, #twice, #big, #money, #buy, #happiness
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss dangles a check from his fingers and says, "It's pay day." The Boss yells, "Ha ha!! Dance for your paycheck!! Ha ha ha!! Mine is twice as big!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "And they say money can't buy happiness."
Monday January 03,
2000
Tags #dogcart consults, #data mining, #uncover sales, #mine data, #messages, #tie and shirt, #messages from god
Transcript
Dogbert Consults: The boss is sitting at his desk and Dogbert is on top of his desk. Dogbert says to the boss: "You need to do data mining to uncover hidden sales trends." Dogbert says: "If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God." The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, on the table Dogbert has sheets of paper and shows them to the boss there is also a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "...sales to lefthanded squirrels are up...and God says your tie doesn't go with that shirt."
Tuesday December 09,
2014
Carol Juggles Work Plus Family
Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.
Tuesday February 08,
2011
Tags #work ethic, #charged project, #accountants, #arsenic based life forms, #natural enemy
Transcript
Accounting Dilbert says, "You charged my project for expenses that aren't mine." Finance Troll says, "Let me see that." Finance Troll says, "We accountants are arsenic-based life forms. That makes you my natural enemy." Dilbert says, "That is not logical." Finance Troll says, "Live long and phospher."
Tuesday December 06,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #warren buffet, #tax rate, #subsidizing mansion, #condescending, #show appreciation, #ceo, #high tax, #worker
Transcript
CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.
Wednesday June 20,
2012
Tags #minerals, #moons orbit, #rocket boosters, #science fiction, #asteroid, #precious metals, #afghanistan
Transcript
Dilbert: Rocket boosters will move an asteroid into the moon's orbit so we can mine its precious metals. Boss: Why don't we mine for precious metals in Afghanistan? They have lots of them. Dilbert: That only happens in science fiction.
Wednesday July 04,
2012
Tags #stock market, #no raise, #accomplished nothing, #invest in penny stocks, #hot stock tips, #narrowed the gap, #money
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I can't give you a raise because you accomplished nothing this year. Wally: That's okay because I make a fortune investing in penny stocks. Do you want some hot stock tips? Dilbert: Did you get a raise. Wally: No, but I narrowed the gap between his income and mine.
Wednesday April 08,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #transferred, #marketing, #barbeque, #unicorn, #rare, #best, #part
Transcript
Dilbert stands in a barbecue line holding a plate. The man in front of him says, "Every Tuesday we barbecue a unicorn." The man says, "Make mine rare. Ha ha! Get it? Rare?" Dilbert looks at the horn on his plate and thinks, "I'm not sure I believe this is the 'best part.'"