Government Reward Comic Strips
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108 Results for Government Reward
View 1 - 10 results for government reward comic strips. Discover the best "Government Reward" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 28,
2005
Tags #new director, #wist decision support, #out source contracts, #north elbonia, #government reward
Transcript
"My job could not be more meaningless." "I'm looking at my new Director of Post-Decision Support!" "After I make a decision, your job is to figure out why it was the right one." "Save those tears of joy for later. We've got work to do!" "SOB!" "I decided to outsource our nuclear contracts to North Elbonia." "And in return, they'll give us food, if they ever figure out how to grow any." "I expect some fallout from this decision." "Me too." "On the plus side, it won't be long before there's a government reward for killing him."
Friday June 26,
2015
Government Wants To Kill Dilbert
Tags #cyber attack, #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #spying, #surveillance, #privacy, #hiding, #hiding out
Transcript
G-Man: The app you wrote in your spare time stopped the worst cyber attack our nation has seen. The president has authorized me to kill you and steal the app so no other country can get it. Dilbert: The government will never find me! G-Man: We chipped you during your colonoscopy.
Monday July 18,
2011
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #class, #more efficient, #government contract, #stuffed deer
Transcript
Dilbert: This class will make me more efficient. Boss: I don't want you to be more efficient. You're working on a government contract and billing by the hour. Now go bill them for the time you stood here and stared at me like a stuffed deer.
Friday August 23,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #government, #insured, #depositors, #lost, #money, #divvying, #senator
Transcript
Dogbert opens the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm from the government. We're repaying insured depositors who lost money in 'Ethel's S $ L.'" The man continues, "We're a little short on cash ourselves, so we're divvying up the items Ethel bought." Dogbert holds a man's hand and says to Dilbert, "I got a senator."
Thursday January 23,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #friend, #tip, #authorities, #stock, #afraid, #kept, #money, #reward
Transcript
Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I thought you were my friend, Ratbert. Why did you tip off the authorities about my insider stock trading?" Ratbert replies, "I was afraid that if you kept the money you would leave and I'd never see you again." Dogbert says, "Really? Gee . . ." Dogbert asks, "Did they give you a reward?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah, I'm outta here!"
Wednesday October 07,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #general, #department, #government, #cover-ups, #u.f.o., #abduction, #story, #untraceable, #poison, #good, #value, #tax, #dollar, #breath, #mint
Transcript
Dilbert opens the door and sees a man in a military uniform. The general says, "I'm a General from the Department of Government Cover-ups." The man continues, "If you tell your U.F.O. abduction story to the press we'll slay you with untraceable poison." Dilbert says, "I don't think I'm getting a good value for my tax dollar here." The General asks, "Breath mint?"
Thursday October 08,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #government, #general, #kill, #encounter, #space, #aliens, #governments, #track, #record, #budget, #cutbacks, #air, #support
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a man in a military uniform. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The government sent a General to kill me for talking about my encounter with space aliens." Dilbert continues, "I was scared at first, but when you think about the government's track record, well, my odds are pretty good . . ." Dilbert continues, "Especially after all the budget cutbacks." The General says into a walkie-talkie radio, "Dang it! Where's my air support?!!"
Friday October 09,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens
Transcript
Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"
Wednesday July 07,
1993
Tags #agents, #Dilbert, #drugs, #nutrition, #government
Transcript
Dilbert opens his door and two agents wearing dark sunglasses and holding guns show him their identification badges. The agent says, "We're the government. We came to confiscate your so-called 'Happiness Drug.'" As the agent holds his gun to Dilbert's nose, Dilbert says, "It's not a drug! It's just a mixture of fruits and vegetables that makes you feel happy! You can't outlaw good nutrition!" The other agent says, "Hmm . . . I guess that wouldn't make sense, would it?" The agent says, "Ignore him. He's a new guy."
Thursday July 08,
1993
Tags #mental health, #agent, #government, #bob, #happiness
Transcript
Two government agents holding guns stand behind Dilbert while he works at his desk. One agent says, "Erase all the formulas for making your 'Happiness Potion' and we won't jail you." Dilbert says, "Okay, okay . . ." The agent says, "You citizens only have the right to PURSUE happiness - you're not allowed to BE happy." The other agent says, "Citizens need discomfort in order to be productive and fulfilled." Dilbert replies, "Then you'll love this . . ." Bob the Dinosaur reaches for the agent's underwear and thinks, "Wedgie."