Grave Speaks Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

36 Results for Grave Speaks

View 1 - 10 results for grave speaks comic strips. Discover the best "Grave Speaks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smart garbageman, #again soul, #someone less fortunate, #flowers on grave, #grave speaks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The world's smartest garbage man says I need to help someone less fortunate to regain my soul. Ratbert: Don't look at me. I'm happier than a tickled clam. Dilbert: I brought you some flowers, dead person. Dead person: I don't need 'em I'm good."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost cutting, #job for a day, #dream of grave, #less motivating

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol with another man. The Boss says, "Our department won the cost-cutting contest, so our CEO will do your job for a day." The CEO sits in Carol's cubicle and says, "I feel like a failure.. darkness fills my days... I dream of the grave." The CEO cries, "I'll never be loved again!!" The Boss says, "This is less motivating than I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dance with death, #secreatry, #desk, #work to early grave, #first to drop, #good morning, #first thing, #competition, #resentment, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #co owrker, #favor, #being b=nice, #nick names, #spitting on grave, #not dead

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, Dilby, Dil-boy, Dilly-dally, Dilbo Baggins, Dill Pickle!" "I need a favor." "Does it involve spitting on your grave?" "I'm not dead." "Well then, I guess we both need a favor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #founder of compnay, #tug up, #copper wire, #replaced tombstone, #huge magnet, #business practivces, #spin in grave, #generate electricity

View Transcript

Transcript

"We dug up the founder of our company and wrapped him in copper wire." "Then we replace his tombstone with a huge magnet." "With any luck, our business practices will make him spin in his grave and generate electricity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coldness of the grave, #dress it up, #high in demand, #mad, #time, #time management, #waiting

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #idea, #low staus, #not enjoy it, #power, #speaking truth to power, #speaks back

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have a great idea. Would you like to hear it? The boss: Well, considering your low status in the company and how busy I am I would not enjoy it one bit. Asok: I like speaking truth to power, but I don't like when it speaks back.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #dig grave, #shovel, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #alive, #holographic, #message, #Dogbert, #chile, #carne

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert yells, "Yikes! Dilbert's invention is alive!!" A flash of light comes from the device. An image of Dilbert's head appears and says, "I am a holographic recording of the late Dilbert, with a message to Dogbert from beyond the grave." Dogbert takes notes on a pad of paper as Dilbert says, ". . . And my recipe for chile con carne is as follows . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shipped new prodcut, #tech support, #trained, #embarrasments, #monk, #training, #material, #real monk, #pig latin

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss speaks to three employees in tech support. He says, "We just shipped our newest product. You folks in tech support will need to be trained so you can avoid any embarrassments." The Boss says, "We had a monk write the training material on a grain of rice. We could only afford one, so you'll have to share it." The Boss tosses a grain of rice at them and they lunge for it. As the employees fall to the floor fighting, the Boss says, "To be honest, I'm not sure we had a real monk. He wrote everything in Pig Latin."