Great Solutions Comic Strips
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392 Results for Great Solutions
View 1 - 10 results for great solutions comic strips. Discover the best "Great Solutions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 18,
1994
Tags great solutions, bicycle seats, dorky pants, bicycle pants
Transcript
GREAT SOLUTIONS IN ENGINEERING Problem: Bicycle seats are hard. They Hurt. Analysis: there must be something work with your pants, Dogbert: Solution: dorky pants.
Wednesday November 26,
2014
I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems
Tags authority, convincing, managers, managers & supervisors, launch deadline, solutions, unexpected problems, business
Transcript
Boss: Are you going to meet the launch deadline? Dilbert: No. There were unexpected problems. Boss: I need solutions, not unexpected problems! Did that mean anything? Dilbert: Almost. Good try.
Wednesday January 29,
2020
Bring Me Solutions
Tags managers & supervisors, business, solutions, problems, worthless, sarcasm, example
Transcript
boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.
Wednesday April 20,
2011
Tags time travel, elbonia, time, 70 years future, great grandson, set thing, won't work out, cave, pool, monster, gun
Transcript
Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.
Monday April 30,
2012
Tags how-to, great leader, book, errors in book, disgruntled underling, existence, break room
Transcript
Boss: I read a book about how to be a great leader, and realized I don't do any of those things. I'm surprised a book with so many errors could get published. It must have been written by a disgruntled underling. Wally: Do those exist?
Thursday November 02,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, mysteries, china, great wall of china, armies, engineering, flop
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "And another of life's mysteries is, why do they call it the 'Great Wall of China?'" Dilbert continues, "It never really kept any invading armies out . . . Kind of a dismal flop from an engineering perspective." Dogbert says, "I don't think 'The Dismal Flop of China' would have the same tourist appeal." Dilbert replies, "I wouldn't pay to see it."
Wednesday February 27,
1991
Tags Dilbert, great, things, dog, nap, time, want, tired, hate, life, Dogbert
Transcript
Dogbert thinks, "One of the great things about being a dog is that we can take a nap any time we want." Dogbert continues thinking, "Sometimes we do it because we're tired." Dogbert lies on his back as Dilbert walks by carrying a briefcase. Dogbert thinks, "But mostly, we do it to make you hate your life."
Tuesday December 10,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, nostradogbert, prophet, monkey, skeptically, great, doubt
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock wearing a turban. Dogbert says, "I've changed my name to Nostradogbert the Prophet." Dogbert continues, "Nostradogbert predicts that a monkey shall speak skeptically of the great." Dilbert replies, "That's ridiculous." Dogbert says, "One-for-one so far." Dilbert says, "I doubt it."
Wednesday January 08,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, bed, purpose in life, today, hungry, toasted, bagel, great, empty, stomach, think, breakfast
Transcript
Dilbert lies in bed thinking, "Why should I get up today? What is my purpose in life?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm hungry. A toasted bagel would taste great." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe the purpose of life is eating bagels." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't try to think on an empty stomach."
Thursday January 14,
1993
Tags Dogbert, children, power, great book, direction, tv, listings, flipping
Transcript
Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "Although raising children is difficult, be assured that you will get help from a power greater than yourself." Dogbert types, "Teach your children about the higher power and about the 'Great Book' which will give them direction." A baby sits in a chair in front of a television. The father says, "They're called 'tv listings.' Without them, you're just flipping."