Search Results for "great leader"
Share April 30, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I read a book about how to be a great leader, and realized I don't do any of those things. I'm surprised a book with so many errors could get published. It must have been written by a disgruntled underling. Wally: Do those exist?
Share July 01, 2003's comic on:
Dogbert is standing next to a stack of books on The Boss' desk. He says, "If you want to be a great leader, read the books that have inspired leaders for centuries." Dogbert holds up a book and says, "For example, the first pyramids were built after a twelve-year-old pharaoh read this book." The Boss reads the title, "Things That Look Naughty From Miles Away."
Share October 11, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: I hired an unqualified crony to run our quality control group. "I value loyalty over competence. That's the sign of a great leader." Dilbert: "Do you see any problem with that?" The Boss: "It makes you look extra disloyal?"
Share November 23, 2013's comic on:
Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.
Share September 17, 2014's comic on:
CEO: A good leader has to be willing to be disliked. Dilbert: You must be a great leader. CEO: What do you mean by that? Dilbert: Sorry. I didn't expect you to be listening to me.
Share May 14, 2013's comic on:
CEO: I'm reading a book about what it takes to be a great leader. Do you know what Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, Gandhi, and Ryan Seacrest have in common? Dilbert: None of them read this book. CEO: And they are carbon-based life-forms.
Share June 30, 2013's comic on:
Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.
Share March 09, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.
Share September 24, 2014's comic on:
CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.
Share January 02, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: A good leader puts his team ahead of his own ego. Boss: What do great leaders do? I'm thinking it's the opposite, right? Catbert: They don't do what you just did. Boss: They don't be awesome?