Great Opportunity Comic Strips

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365 Results for Great Opportunity

View 1 - 10 results for great opportunity comic strips. Discover the best "Great Opportunity" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #lunch, #great opportunity, #multi level marketing, #bible, #diet plan

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"Hey, Dilbert! How would you like to go to lunch?" "Alone." "Alone! Ha ha! but then you'd miss out on this great opportunity!" "It's multi-level marketing plus a diet plan suggested by the bible!" "Shoot me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #brain overload, #detailed answer, #broken, #decison, #nodding, #sensing opportunity, #business

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Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the pr consultant, #no letter q, #opportunity assignement, #public, #shipped keyboards

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Dogbert, the Boss and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Dogbert says, "You shipped keyboards with no letter 'Q.' The public wants somebody to take responsibility." The Boss raises both arms and shouts, "Ooh ooh, pick me, pick me!!" Dilbert says, "Responsibility means blame." The Boss says, "Great . . . It's like the time I got burned on that 'opportunity' assignment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #time travel, #elbonia, #time, #70 years future, #great grandson, #set thing, #won't work out, #cave, #pool, #monster, #gun

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Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #executive program, #relocate, #vindictive, #stress, #loser, #turn down opportunity, #train, #discomfort, #underlings

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Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #how-to, #great leader, #book, #errors in book, #disgruntled underling, #existence, #break room

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Boss: I read a book about how to be a great leader, and realized I don't do any of those things. I'm surprised a book with so many errors could get published. It must have been written by a disgruntled underling. Wally: Do those exist?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #mysteries, #china, #great wall of china, #armies, #engineering, #flop

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "And another of life's mysteries is, why do they call it the 'Great Wall of China?'" Dilbert continues, "It never really kept any invading armies out . . . Kind of a dismal flop from an engineering perspective." Dogbert says, "I don't think 'The Dismal Flop of China' would have the same tourist appeal." Dilbert replies, "I wouldn't pay to see it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #great, #things, #dog, #nap, #time, #want, #tired, #hate, #life, #Dogbert

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Dogbert thinks, "One of the great things about being a dog is that we can take a nap any time we want." Dogbert continues thinking, "Sometimes we do it because we're tired." Dogbert lies on his back as Dilbert walks by carrying a briefcase. Dogbert thinks, "But mostly, we do it to make you hate your life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #fate, #steal, #dilberts, #hover-saucer, #conquer, #tiny, #nation, #elbonia, #knock, #unfriendly, #merger, #opportunity

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. There is a knock at the door. Dogbert opens the door and an old man with a staff and a hat with an "F" on it stands on the doorstep. The man says, "Dogbert, I am 'Fate.' You must steal Dilbert's hover-saucer and conquer the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dogbert asks, "Since when does Fate knock?" The man replies, "I was bought out in an unfriendly merger by 'Opportunity.' I should have seen it coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nostradogbert, #prophet, #monkey, #skeptically, #great, #doubt

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock wearing a turban. Dogbert says, "I've changed my name to Nostradogbert the Prophet." Dogbert continues, "Nostradogbert predicts that a monkey shall speak skeptically of the great." Dilbert replies, "That's ridiculous." Dogbert says, "One-for-one so far." Dilbert says, "I doubt it."